Broken hearts, unhealed wounds and souless bodies

Scream your lungs out

2011-12-12T00:56:00.001-08:00

AHHHHH! SPM is finally over!
all those sleepless nights gone !
all those torturous days gone !
all those stress and suffering gone!
(temporary)

Will be taking 2 intake :)
hmm what should i take !? S.A.M? A-LEVELS? OR FOUNDATION YEAR?
any ideas? Kinda need them.
anyone from monash? kinda need your help !?

Almost freedom

2011-12-01T02:20:00.001-08:00

Just finished my arts exam :D thank god! I left two more papers and i'm home free!

It does takes that little extra to win a girls heart.

2011-11-29T04:14:00.001-08:00

We don't get to choose who we want to fall in love with, that's why its called 'FALLING'. You don't exactly have any control over it. ( not trying to should all obnoxious) Its an involuntary action that's controlled my one part of the human brain called medulla oblongata. Yeah imma science enthusiast.
We might not have complete control of who we want to fall in love with but, that doesn’t mean, you can't attract your crush ;)

These are a few simple tips on to win her heart. Honestly i hate chauvinist men. Yes boys never compare women with men!!! Dont you girls just hate it when, you took up a challenge raise by your guy friends saying that they'd beat you flat? That’s actually not that worst part, the worst part is, after you beat them fair and square they'd say they gave in so that you'd feel good. Dude, be a gentleman!? Dont be such a sore loser !?

Okay these might and might not be help full but i hope i manage to help contribute in you get your girl. ;)
BREAK A LEG BOYS !

The other thing is , yes girls dont like making the 1st move. Make them feel desperate. This is coming from my heart. Most girls will wait forever so that you'd make that one move in asking her out. Yes i've asked most girls and they agree. Girls will give hints but you have to make that one decision whether you're gonna make an effort in getting her or not. If you dont put in that much effort means she is that important to you. Ain't i right girls ? ;)

Owh and its never and i mean NEVER too late or too old for chivalry. What happen to guys pulling out the chair before you sit? What happen to a man throws his coat down over a puddle so that a woman can walk over it? But of course, I never expect this much, and i certainly wont judge a person through chivalry!? But its nice to have someone doing that once in awhile. Such qualities included courage, honour, loyalty, and consideration of others. To be chivalrous, a man would be marked by honour and generosity.

I once said i dont like cliché terms and whatsoever, yes i dont. Some are just too cheesy and fake. The word ' i love you' is too often used and misused. I swear form now and on I shall never use that 3 words together in one phrase, unless i truly love that person. Yes call me ambitious but that person is gonna be the person i wanna marry. That’s how sure i am.

The new skin

2011-11-29T03:59:00.001-08:00

I have to say, this new blog structure is something i might need to get used to. Its actually pretty cool i might have to say :) Anyways my Best friend's birthday's today just thought he'd be reading my blog so i thought i should well... post something about him :)

Dear Lee Jia wei, WUSS!

Sorry for whatever i've done,

Thank you for everything :)

well i ran out of words to say cause most of it are in your card already :) haha hehe.

From you best bud,

manda

The latest hour of the darkest night

2011-11-25T07:08:00.000-08:00

Unfulfilled feelings still remain,
I want to smile and just forget everything,
Forget all the pain, all the agony, all the regret
The bad memories hurts but its nothing compared to the good memories
we had. The feeling of loosing someone so dear is far more worst than not having one at all.
When can i move on and finally be rid of the longing. When?

Will i ever open my hear to others ever again?

2011-11-25T07:03:00.000-08:00

Dear best friend,

Thanks for being there.

Sorry for hurting you.

Never ment to do so.

Just want you to learn.

Form,

your worried friend.

To the whimpering girl in her room.

2011-11-25T06:47:00.000-08:00

We shared many moments together, some are good some are bad. But i still treasure them all. Those bitter sweet memories are too valueble to erase or forgot ( thats why i have a diary).

We all have made our mistakes, so did i. But i'm learning from them. You should too.

This are what true friends are for, to let us know when their wrong, to help and guide us when we're lost.

We are all different in our own ways. I'm not perfect as well, i am hard headed, and i am also extreamly hot tempered.

We are all special in our own way, (for my friends sake) we are all gods creation :)

We have different opionions and taste, but that doesn't mean yours is bad !? And nither is mine!? Thats why its called diversity.

I accepted the fact long ago that ' if you dont like people to do that to you, dont do it to others'

Because karma has its ways. I learn that if you shouldn't judge others before you get to know them well, if you dont want to be treated that way.

This is life. Its a learning process. We're never too old to learn.

* omg my dads watching high school musical * HAHAHAHAHA i can hear the 'night to remember ' song being played XD hahahahahaha

2011-09-18T23:44:00.000-07:00

wont be able to blog for these few months till spms over !!! SOO STAY TUNED! :D OWHH AND WISH ME LUCK!

2011-05-03T08:07:00.001-07:00

YOU NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME SMILE :)

THANK YOU

Wedding dress, roses and bittersweet tears

2011-05-03T06:36:00.000-07:00

I had to start blogging again, its been far too long since i last wrote. Lately the big talk is revolve around weddings. Recently Prince William got married to a women named Katherine. They look perfect in their wedding. Looking at them walking down the ilse was breath taking even though I'm actually only watching them through the television. They looked so serene so peace full. Their about to make vows and i always seem to get excited when they reach the part when one and other day i do. :D I cant imagine me getting married. More precisely married to whom. That's the big question i have yet to have a accurate answer. Well at this point I'm sure you know who i wanna marry ;) But if you asked me have i thought about my wedding, the answer is yes definitely. I've always dreamed of getting married in the beach. I want a white themed wedding. I hate pink but pastel pink is an exception due to certain consequences. Honestly if you ask me, truthfully, i don't need a big wedding or a ice sculpture of angles or swans or a 3 story cake, all i want is to live happily ever after with whom ever i choose to say ' I do '. No need no fancy car or whatsoever. Just me and you baby! ;) yes i sound weird. Suddenly i feel so keen on my future wedding, wondering who I'd end up with, who'd hold my hands and look me in the eyes and say i do. I bet I'd smile or giggle when i reach that part i swear. Haha

Okay Enough about wedding madness, time for some real update. Recently I've been good. But having those down days are inevitable.

QUICK TIP #1 : Never tell a severely stressed out person someone else is having more stress than him/her.

Yes I'm stressed, what do you expect !? I have 10 subjects to take in spm, that includes arts. I have accounts project and arts project. Arts might sound easy but trust me its not. And I'm also a cheerleader for my house, and I'm taking my grade 8 piano exam this year. And I'm also a committee that's under probation for my Buddhist center. I must do a good job or else they'll kick me out. D: And I'm also in charge of my class year book designs. Not to mention the amount of homework and tuition's i have. URGHHHHH STRESSED!

Sometimes i can suddenly rapidly change my mood is cause i recalled something or i think too much. Or another contributing factor is... Stress. Recently I've been thinking alot and i mean alot. :/ hmm... Actually I'm quite speechless right now. Cant seem to find the right words to describe how i feel. 'Nostalgic'? Man am i lost for words. I really wanna let out how i feel be i cant. Man for once I'm kinda worried about me. I keep saying 'i can do it' but lately my confidence level is so low that i feel like my existence is not needed.

I used to feel like I'm not good enough, and I'm telling everybody that i no longer feel that way. That's the biggest lie i have ever made. I really didn't wanted to blog lately because i know i will come to this. Feeling like utter crap.

Indulge in love

I think I'm going too deep on this one :/. I never felt so deep before. I dont think i can handle anymore disappointment. OWH AND I'M HAVING TRUST ISSUES. yay?! -.-'

He's quiet and desolate eyes caught my heart.

oh simple things where have you gone,

I'm getting older i need something to rely on.

oh what happen to all those bright summer,

its getting darker i need some sunshine,

is this the place we used to love,

or is it just another place that I've been dreaming of

why don't we go somewhere only we know.

by, keane

You should know i rather have bad times with you,

than good times with someone else,

i rather be beside you in a storm,

than have it warm by myself,

i rather have hard times together with you than have it easy apart.

I rather have the one who holds a piece of my heart.

by, luther

2011-03-26T10:50:00.000-07:00

YES MY BLOG IS DEAD :P

You're the best thing thats ever been mine :)

2011-03-05T23:25:00.000-08:00

Thanks to you I'm finally getting my normal life back. No more down and depressed days. Started studying again, in fact started 'exercising' again :) You may be a lot of things to everyone else, but in my eyes you're everything. Heck you're fucking perfect. :D!

All I'm scared is, you discover I'm not as perfect as you think i am D: I've got my flaws.

I'm scared i can't live up to your expectations.

I'm scared :

I'm not pretty enough,

I'm not smart enough,

I'm not talented enough,

I'm not creative enough,

I'm not brave enough,

I'm not sporty enough,

My point is I'm scared I'm not enough for you then you'll leave me D: I'm crazy about you. No specific reason. Something about love you cant explain, Is it he's looks ? Is it his eyes? Or the way he makes me smile ? Its something you just cant explain. All I know is my heart tells me you're the one :)

Your heart alone is enough for me

2011-02-12T09:04:00.000-08:00

This year is not a good year D:

Brains don't fail me now!

2011-02-10T07:17:00.000-08:00

FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FMLFML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML FML

Today's the day i know i cant count on you or anyone for that matter.

I was this close in doing something i'd regret and you didn't even care/notice .

Now i realise i'm alone.

Better be disappointed now than later.

Sweet serendipity

2011-02-09T03:30:00.000-08:00

I'm going just fine,

i'm always landing on my feet ,

I ain't gonna stress,

the worst ain't happen yet,

somethings watching over me like sweet serendipity !

Hey all of those who actually reads my blog, Sorry but i've been busy. The amount of homework i have are limitless and a little be overwhelming! @.@

I used to really dislike sejarah last time practically loath it ! But now come to think of it its actually quite nice. At least its easier than Accounts ?

I was suppose to blog but i got busy with crap so didn't manage to blog in the end

What happen to the good old dog days ?

2011-01-30T09:34:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the long hiatus. Yeah I've been busy. Busier than ever @.@ ishhh What happen to the weather !?!?! Why is it raining so heavily !?!?!?!?!? Didn't the sun got the info that its time to burn the crap out of us!?!?!? Lol... if this continues. This year will be a gloomy Chinese new year. But honestly i kinda like it this way XD. After all whats the big deal anyway? Its just rain, not a bloody tsunami or some sort of natural disaster right? We should be thank full man.

Currently addicted to the song Rocketeer and Sweet serendipity. :D I've come to an conclusion that I'd like to quit all the crap and start studying. Imma gonna make this a short post, in other words I'm out of crap to give you XD. I'll blog more tomorrow. teehee for now just bear with this mundane post. XD And guess what !!! I'M SAVING MONEY ! hahahaha yes.. Don't mock me ... its hard enough resisting all those branded cloths and accessories. XD

Okay imma end this post for now.

New year resolution

2011-01-10T00:53:00.000-08:00

Its already a new year, but i'm still facing the same situation. What difference does it make? Despite all the bullshit i'm facing i'm still studying hard nevertheless. If i wanna succeed, its necessary to get good results. So i think its about time i quit playing around and start tackling the books.

ps. I'm only blogging when i'm free now.

How can one person make you feel depressed and overjoyed at the same time ? I hate it when i don't have the courage to tell him how i feel and bear the rejection and pain for awhile instead of this. Trying my best to live up to his expectations and hoping I'd be good enough. Why do i always have this feeling in my guts telling me ' you're not pretty enough', ' you're not smart enough', ' you're not talented enough'. WHYY!? Gosh I'm tired of trying to live up to peoples expectations, but yet i want him so badly. I'm not demanding anything, just that i really wish he'd appreciate me and love me for who i am. It doesn't matter who you are, where you're from, don't care what you did as long as you love me.

In my eyes i cant see me without you , in other words i need you. You're always able to keep the butterflies fluttering in my tummy. We talk almost every night before i went to bed. I assumed you have somewhat a little feeling for me? But the irony is, you only see me as a friend or someone to talk to when you're bored. And i doubt you'll ever have feelings for me. I'm only being indifferent so i can show you how strong and independent i am. But deep down inside I'm dying and all you can say is Permanent Head Disease? (PHD) !?! WHAT THE *#$&@*#!*!?!

SORRY BUT I HAVE AN URGENT NEED TO DIGRESS

And as for you ass hole. What the fuck did you even come back for when you know you're not gonna stay? I to think i actually thought you were different that all the others. WHAT?? You say you love me ? Owh really prove it ? I know what I've done to you in the past. Yes i was foolish. I've made my mistakes, I'm not perfect and NEITHER ARE YOU! I know this is a cliche term but nobodies perfect. You wan me.. you've gonna have to accept the whole package. And that includes all my flaws and faults. Why the fuck you had to lie to me ?! Why? cant face the truth that you can only stick to one girl ? Scared of losing me but you don't exactly want me either ? Why??? You came back for a month and left me hanging for 2 month and then you came back telling me you love me at the same time you're with another girl? WHAT THE FUCK? I've officially had enough of your stupid, insignificant, condescending games ! It took me years to realise that you're just another side track in making me lose focus on the real goals in life.

When i finally found someone i truly love (which clearly all i want is 'him' right now), someone perfect in my eyes, someone honest, someone faithfull and loyal, someone caring, someone compatible and protective (but not overly protective). I'll hold him so tight and love him with all my strength and prove it to you I no longer want or need you. You'll be just another fragment of my past that i'll try my best to forget. You'll be more than insignificant in my life is truly an understatement. I'll have absolutely no space or room left for in my heart or mind. :) soo i suggest you should quit the BULLSHIT hun and go get a life.

The 1st pic i took in 2011!!!

There's is nothing going on between us. We're just close friends :D

My new year resolutions are

Study harder!
Stop trying to live up to everyones expectations
Quit all the bullshit that's sidetracking me
Be completely rid of you
Tolerate friends
pass piano grade 8

2011-01-07T08:49:00.000-08:00

Omg i think I'm absolutely in love with you! You're the bright side of my bad day! I think you're really hot. (no idea why). Its always soo fun and nice to talk to you :) I wish you were mine, D: i wish you'd feel the same. But i doubt it. After all why would you like me? I'm not pretty enough, neither am i smart enough. I cant live up to your expectations. I just seriously wish you'd feel the same and that you're mine forever. Cause i know without a doubt, you'll have my heart forever if you let me give it to you. You can either make me so happy or so damn fucking sad. urghhhh. WHY IS IT SO HARD !? Why all the good guys have to be either taken, (my heart) or gay. ISHHHHHH! I feel like screaming my lungs out. Whats wrong with me. I'm having a bad case of bipolar. One moment i was so happy cause you actually take notice or perhaps interest in me, as if i meant something. The next moment i'm just another girl to you?!?!?! Omg i feel like telling you how i feel but i cant ?!!?! Why cant i ?!!? Is it so hard? Maybe cause i'm scared i might not wanna know what you have to say after that. I cant take another break down. No, i seriously cant. sighhh what am i suppose to do !

Somewhere only we know

2010-12-07T07:55:00.000-08:00

I walked across an empty land
I knew the path way like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of

When things doesn't goes the way you wanted it to

2010-12-07T02:33:00.000-08:00

What am i suppose to do ??? Ishh... i can't rewrite the past. But that doesn't mean its gonna be the same for my future? I can't be perfect.. i seriously cant. I have lack of confidence lately. I absolutely don't think i can dance, I don't have enough confidence to stand up in front of all of them, especially in front of you. You have always tried to shape me to your liking. Sure i pick a lot of bozos through out a lot of time. I'm trying my best. I just need some time off.

I never thought you were so important until i lost you. I'm sorry. I truly am. :( I NEVER REALLY WANTED TO BE WITHOUT YOU. Here i go, now you know. I fell so hard. I really did. But i guess that's what you get when you let your heart win. But i no longer wanna drift and dwell on the past. I'm gonna see the bright side of the future. I'm gonna hope again. Cause if its over then lets just let it go then, come tomorrow then you'll see, that was soo yesterday. I'm just a bird that's already flown away. Laugh it off, then let it go and when you wake up you'll see ' hah so yesterday'. Haven't you heard that I'm gonna be okay. :) Don't care about me. I'll take care of myself even tho i have to get hurt in the process.

2010-12-04T09:53:00.000-08:00

Typical... pfft

2010-12-04T07:31:00.000-08:00

Should have know you were like that. Why did i even let myself believe that you're different than the other jerks. Gosh their all the same. Pathetic and useless. So typical you. One moment you swept her off her feet and the next moment you leave. Leaving that poor girl thinking it all her fault. seriously!?!? One moment you convinced her that you'll be there forever and love her forever, the next moment you break her heart blaming her, it was all an excuse for another dimwit who would fall for you. How low can you get. How many times do you wanna lie to my face??? DUDE... please you're pathetic pick-up line are soo cliche. Why does girls still think so highly of you!?!?! Gosh you're an example of an OVERRATED womanizer ! I'm blind and dumb that's why. Gosh. I truly miss the old you. You were so loyal, so happy , so hmm.. can't find the words to describe it... hmm perfect??? Its like the rainbow after the stormy rain. You were so cute, at times i still see that in your eyes, i still see that little boy i fell in love with. I just wish i can turn back time. Mainly cause i know its my fault. I'm sorry if i ever hurt you i truly am ! After all those mistakes I've done, I've been living in guilt over the past several years. After that day ' i live to regret'. I'm sorry i cant live up to your expectations but i am who i am. sighh ..

Elevator

2010-12-03T10:04:00.000-08:00

Elevator goes up, elevator comes down

and you just go with the flow until you're feet are back on the ground.

Its an endless ride, sometimes it takes you up,

sometimes it tears you down inside,

but its the butterflies that keeps you feeling so alive,

you gotta get back that high!

something about love

2010-12-03T07:49:00.000-08:00

There's something about love that breaks you heart, and yet people still believes in it. You don't really understand the philosophy of it or understand it by theory, you can only feel it when you're with that special someone !

Nothings brings me down when you're around.

The world just disappears when you're near.

pursuit of happiness

2010-12-03T02:35:00.000-08:00

Being sarcastic is the one thing I'm absolutely good at! Everybody need a little sarcasms sometimes ! :) But some may find me annoying but i don't care !?!? Its me ? And guys and girls out there don't take my words seriously. I meant is when i tease of course ;).

Holidays is boring if you're stuck at home. Just gonna update a little so that my blog isn't that dead. But seriously i don't really have much to blog about today. Except for the fact that i got agitated when i was talking to my friend. Seriously !?!?! Come on... if you dwel on all the bad things in life you'll never be able to appreciate the good things in life! Like i always say one door closes and two other doors open :) And sometimes you have to sacrifice everything to gain nothing. Amelia calm down. I wont try to understand you because i don't, maybe i never will cause eveytime i tried to help you,you wont take it in. Plus you live you life differently don't compare yours with others. Its not fair to neither you or that person. But that's all in the past now. Now you've got me and Freda :) We'll try our best to satisfy your hunger ;)

with you is where i rather be

2010-11-21T07:30:00.000-08:00

Trust me loving you ain't easy !

You didn't change not one bit :) but i think your perfect the way you are.

I hope this is not the case. and yes I'm a little paranoid, but only because i know i cant make you stay. As much as i wanted to but i know well enough that you wont. Its either that or you'll lie to me ? why? I don't really care who you are, where your from, what you did, as long as you love me and stop lying to me. That's all it takes. Its not that hard. Dude... please Sigh, some times you rather fake a smile so that no one ask you this 'are you okay'. Seriously.. -.-' Do i look fucking okay to you??? I feel like knocking some sense in that puiny brain of yours, after all you know why that smile is upside down. 'YOU'? What does it takes to make you realise that all those crappy stuffs everyone talks about doesn't effect how i feel about you? Urgh, god with i can make wishes out of paper air planes right now so i can wish you were mine. But paper are just processed wood pounded in to paper then folded in to airplanes. No matter how many times i tried it still wouldn't work. In other words, you being mine and only mine is pretty much a myth. And yes you've said it a thousand time, i still were it around my neck. Always have and always will.

I just went out with my old classmates. Gosh i miss them A LOT!!!!. And on the second though i don't really miss them that much XP.I'm just kidding, i miss you guys dont worry, not sure if you feel the same way though . After all i wasn't really liked much by others. When i was younger, truly i felt like i don't belong, as if i don't belong anywhere, almost all the teachers loath me, i was pretty much known as the 'TOM-BOY'(trust me you don't wanna know the details to that), my results hah... that piece of paper is not even wort wiping your ass, i was kinda like a misfit. But despite all the fact that i was a terrible 'GIRL' that time, I've got to say that those were the richest times of my life :) And I'm proud of it. I've experienced most of the stuffs some people never did :). But i wasn't alone, i maybe a misfit but i had friends. like Max, kar wei, sue, Eric, chun kit, li hui and many others so therefore i wasn't alone. But those days were long gone. I've turned on a new leaf.

I have friends like Freda, Arief, and Amelia. What more could i possibly want ? :) I love them they have been there for me every single time I'm down, they have tolerated my terrible bad habits. I'll dedicate the next post for all my friends that have truly cared about me. And for that i thank you :)

2010-11-17T06:00:00.000-08:00

The many faces of manda

call me lifeless

but you know that i know that you do the same when you're bored too ! XD

Stop crying your heart out

2010-11-15T07:31:00.001-08:00

Cause all of the stars,

have fadded away,

try not to worry,

you'll see them someday,

take what you need,

be on your way,

and stop crying your heart out

2010-11-15T06:25:00.000-08:00

Found someone better,

someone not from the past.

Impossible

2010-11-05T09:06:00.000-07:00

I remember years ago
Someone told me I should take
Caution when it comes to love
I did
And you were strong and I was not
My illusion, my mistake
I was careless, I forgot
And now when all is done
There is nothing to say
You have gone and so effortlessly
You have won
You can go ahead tell them
Tell them all I know now
Shout it from the roof top
Write it on the sky love
All we had is gone now
Tell them I was happy
And my heart is broken
All my scars are open
Tell them what I hoped would be
Impossible

whisper you love me

2010-11-05T07:00:00.000-07:00

I'm just a little girl caught in the middle,

life is a maze and love is a riddle.

where theres a begining, theres always the end

2010-11-05T04:23:00.000-07:00

Back to where we started again. i hate coming here. This place give me nightmares. This is the one place happiness doesn't occur often. Only if its some kind of miracle. Looking at this place always makes me think of my future, mainly my death. Speaking of death. I wonder how would it feel like to die. Never put much thought into it. its sort of depressing or sadistic to think about dying at this age. I wonder who will turn up at my funeral? who will miss me? Who'd cry for me, although i don't really like to see people crying, nevertheless crying for me.

Though i don't mind turning into the vampire after i dieXD. But hah, it'll never happen. hahaha fyi, I'm a vampire fanatic. I've always been fascinated with vampires. sorry to dwell away from topic. Darren Shan and the house of night series, are the books i hold responsible to my love for vampires. I wanna read untamed! Its the forth book of the house of night series. After reading chosen, i felt so much pity for zoey. Life's a bitch for her man. Having to deal with her psychotic parents and her selfish and religious father, and an oh so reliable friends and boyfriends, yes boyfriendS. Back to my death, if there was seriously a chance, after i die i really don't mind becoming a vampire. I'm more excited with the super powers and not to surviving on blood. Honestly, I've always been disgusted by it. I hate the smell, owhhh don't get me started on the taste. Not that i have drank anyones blood, but because i got cut on my lips so i manage to taste a lil of it. But like i said, it'll never happen :)

Sorry for digressing, back to my death, man i seriously need to focus on one thing when i blog, if not i'm gonna type a real shit ass long piece of junk that'll bore you to death. I would love to have petals of roses in my coffin or anywhere around it. I've always been really fond to that. :) But the one thing i always wonder, where will you go after you die??? HELL?? HEAVEN??? Isn't that just a belief ??? Have i see it ???No? Have you seen it ??? No?? Then? No body knows for sure. To me heaven is a form of hope for mankind to do good deeds so that one day when you separate from your human body you'd go to paradise. Without it, hah.. god only knows what'll happen.

But well, in Buddhism, we believe in ' Karma' and reincarnation. Its simple actually, if you do good deeds you'll be a human in your next life, but if you do bad deeds then you'll end up being an animal instead. Mainly is you try not to break the 5 precepts. But to be honest, its pretty much impossible. You'll know why, the 5 precepts are no stealing (broken before), no killing, no sexual harassment, no intoxicants , no LYING ! (IMPOSSIBLE TO ACCOMPLISH) now you see what i mean. Well lying is a common thing now, the main thing and i for one think it shouldn't be done is killing another human being. But i hope when i die my next life would be as blessed and this one. :) Owh by the way Buddha is not a god, he is a man that only seeks to truth in other peoples suffering. I'm not gonna touch on other peoples religion or am i gonna provoke my own. So yeah. I'm gonna end my post for awhile.

TTFN

mandy/bananagurl/ sakai/ ebiko

Another fun miscellaneous day

2010-11-01T02:00:00.000-07:00

Had loads of fun with Andrea , Arief and fred. Unfourtunately Amanda had to go back so early. In fact she went home before the real fun even started. XD Another time kay mandy! We had a blast! I bought a new specs though. Gahh, i'll miss those times.

2010-10-28T22:52:00.001-07:00

Period pain sucks!

Gahhh screw you period !

Hour of hibernating

2010-10-27T06:53:00.000-07:00

Time to go back to hardcore reading :D yippie ! Back to hibernating from studies for awhile till December then start studying again of course. Gah... what a relive when exams are over ! now i have so much time to blog. I like blogging. No idea why, maybe its because i talk a lot and i like to express my feelings. Yes i got my Darren Shan book. Yes i'm outdated. I thought Darren Shan

books i wanna buy! And read

Darren Shan saga
untamed (house of night saga)
love you to death
Bridesmaid

TTFN!

xoxo mandy/ bananagurl/sakai /ebiko

Caught in between reality and the sureal mind

2010-10-27T02:29:00.000-07:00

Last Christmas i gave you my heart, the very next day you gave it away.

this year just save me from tears , i gave it to someone special.

Please don't leave again. I waited for so long. Please i beg you don't.

I wish you cared.

I don't believe that anybody feels the way i do about you now.

There are many things i like to tell you, but i don't know how,

cause maybe you're gonna be the one that saves me,

and after all you're my wonder wall.

I cant stop thinking of you. I see you in my dreams, you were playing the piano and i was sitting next to you. I wanted that moment to last forever, i didn't feel like waking up. Cause in my dreams you were mine. But i woke up anyways, cause i know deep in my heart there's a dim glow, a chance, a hope that can change my life forever. I'll wait for ever if i have to meanwhile a fill my brains with knowledge. After all i promised my dad I'd study everyday from next year onwards.

Amanda wake up. Pleasee... stop thinking that one day he'll return. You know the outcome.

LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, you finally started talking again :)

Wonderwall

2010-10-27T02:03:00.000-07:00

That bloddy wall is separating us. That is the wall of our past.

I'd climb over it, but would you let me ?

cause baby you're the only one that can save me.

Instant aversion

2010-10-27T00:10:00.000-07:00

We need more inspiration and vision in our lives ! Having to go there almost every single day is becoming more and more mundane each day. Especially i have to face a warlike situation every single day. But honestly i cant stand her belligerence, always looking for trouble or a blind argument. God what have i ever don't to you??? Haven't i treated you like a queen already !?!?! Not enough ??? I do almost everything you say. Well some i may have disagree but i have my reasons right.

I don't like to be easily sway by one to hate another. No matter what you tell me to ask me to do i cant?! It isn't my nature to hate people blindly. Unless i got to know that person and if i really feel disapprovingly about him or her then maybe I'll agree with SOME of your sinister 'making her life miserable' plans. How would you feel if someone persuaded your bf to hate you for no reason just because his best friend said so. where's the justice in that? Come to think of it i have never agree in any sort of your 'making her life miserable' plans before ?!!

Well i believe in justice and gratitude. Don't you think its a little unfair what your doing here ??? Making groups of hate !?!? WAHHH??? And come on... what did that poor girl you're trying to penalize now ever did to you? To me she's as innocent as *about to say hell* heaven!!! XD she's so alone now, luckily we enlighten her by keeping her company and giving her good advises. What type of friend are you ???

No seriously... who are you ??? The girl i used to know early this yea was long gone. I miss the antebellum early this year... now sigh... feel like I'm in a middle of a fucking war. One can only seek for cataclysms. And resolving problems with violence. Isshhh every time i set foot there it feels like I'm dealing with politics. Ishh. You know what I'll leave you be.

Since no matter with i tried you never seem convince that forgive and forget is a better way. If you want to frame us then of course I'll fight back. After all no one likes to be framed for anything. EVEN YOU! But let me tell you one thing, I'm not like all those other Ginny pigs you can step on, trust me if you wanna make it that way. Owhhh i will... i gladly will. If you wanna fight physically no prob. I'm not an MSSS badminton player for nothing. If you want it big I'll give you big. I'll bring in your parents and mine, better yet I'll hire a lawyer if you want it that way, we fight till we bring the house down if we have to, and i'll make sure the whole world know who you truly are.

But of course i rather resort to talking than fighting. I'm a great friend but your worst enemy. And at this point i don't really have an enemy. Sure there are some low life's out there that prejudged me. But that don't mean there are my enemy ???

Come on as much as i hate doing this, lets us all make peace. For whatever misunderstandings. I don't hate you and don't worry i wont fight you * i have a soft spot for friends*. :) And I still wanna be friends. I just wanna live a peace full and joyful life. :) I'm sure you do too. I believe in 'every one has a light somehow'. I hope you'll understand and think about it. After all you and i aren't that different anyways.

TTFN

xoxo mandy/ bananagurl/ sakai/ebiko

screammealovesong

2010-10-26T06:42:00.001-07:00

;) about time

This world need a little dose of eat, pray and love

2010-10-26T03:00:00.000-07:00

Never knew you one text can make my day.

But if only you cared ;(.

After so long i waited for those words, my heart skipped a beat!

when i found out it was all just lies, my heart shattered

and i admit defeat.

I got the new phone i wanted 'vivas pro' its an awesome phone :) still trying to get used to it though. And a little lag at times but otherwise its just a plain great phone. That is not my phone by the way. That's Freda's phone. Texting you is like constipation. Waiting for those words but in the end it never comes out.

Excuse me dear, HOW LONG AM I SUPPOSE TO WAIT ! Give me a sign or something. Don't leave me hanging !?!?! What am i suppose to do when you last words was : ' are you okay'? Is it me or is everyone having some form of midlife crisis !?!? You know what i mean everyone seems worried and somewhat annoyed !?!

Speaking of annoyed... DUDE/GIRL what have i ever done to you to make you look at me that way!?!? Ish seriously you have issues !?!?! Your dating this guy at the same time like another guy !?!?! Dudeee, .... hmm cant blame you, the guy your dating does that all the time anyway. When he got bored, owhhh noooo....he doesn't to the dumping, he waits for the girl to dump him so that the next girl he asks feels sympathetic towards him. Mean while he goes around flirting with other girls. Gah who to blame her, don't tell me i never warn you. I'm not jealous or anything its just that i thought you were my friend and could use some fair advices. Owh.. well...

And seriously come on... stop prejudging people !?!? You don't know 'HER' as well as i do. She didn't mean whatever she said in the past and I'm very sure if she was in the wrong she'd apologise. Sure she may have some flaws and faults but that don't defines a persons character? And plus she was punished for her mistakes already, trust me i know. All I'm asking is, let us all and i mean literately all bury the hatchet and make peace. It feels like world war 3 in there. OMG!!!

By the way my science exams was nothing i cant swallow. :) wish me luck for tomorrow's economy exams. Not sure if my dad said we were going to Hong Kong Macao or Hawaii!?! Honestly i much prefer Hawaii than Hong kong but owh well, anything is better than here. Especially here!

TTFN.

xoxo mandy/sakai/bananagurl/ebiko

Red wine and ambien

2010-10-18T01:59:00.000-07:00

Can you smile please :) Then i wont have to worry so much.

Drown in your pool of lies

2010-10-16T08:11:00.000-07:00

Now I get it, in truth you have completely no Interest in talking to me. I'm just another one of your toys. I'm glad I'm amusing you, really i truly am. Thanks for the info ass hole, never felt so used. You scold me for not replying you, and i was actually busy that time. You in the other hand were too busy having fun, getting wasted and so you have no time to even reply me. Talk about hypocrisy. To believe i actually started to like you ( cant believe this is coming from me). You made me feel special like I'm actually worth your time. But I'm just another one adding yo you list am i, you claim I'm the only one. Bullshit! God... thank you facebook. Trust me facebook doesn't lie. And you expect me to ever believe you that after this. Sigh, my mistake. Ish why is everyone pissing me off. My tolerance has limits you know. I'm about this close to blow my top. Gonna go study now. like what every good student would do: By the way I've become a john Mayer fan. As you can see my blog is full of his song traits. And besides that, i am totally In love with Darren shan's book!

The girl without a heart

2010-10-16T00:12:00.000-07:00

Hey have you seen my heart?? I thought i gave it to you the other day??? What do you mean you broke it? Of course its fragile.

You should have told me

2010-10-15T07:53:00.000-07:00

You should have really told me. At least give me some credit for caring about you so much. Don't have to lie about it. If the rumors are true then I'm sorry. You have my sympathy. Never thought you were facing such a tragedy and crisis.

Slow dancing in a burning room

2010-10-13T07:47:00.000-07:00

You were the one i always dreamed of,
You were the one I tried to draw.
How dare you say it's nothing to me.
Baby, you're the only light I ever saw.

Dreaming with a broken heart

2010-10-11T10:13:00.000-07:00

When you're dreaming with a broken heart,

Waking up is the hardest part,

You roll out of bed and down on your knees,

and for a moment you can hardly breath.

When you're dreaming with a broken heart,
The giving up is the hardest part,
he takes you in with your crying eyes,
Then all at once you have to say goodbye,

Do i have to fall asleep,

to get roses in my hand.

If thats the case i wont ever wan to wake up

half of my heart

2010-10-11T02:28:00.000-07:00

I know its not valentine.

Valentine,

Its a good excuse, put our love to use

Baby i know what to do,

I will love you.

Edge of Desires

2010-10-10T03:20:00.000-07:00

They were watching horror movies so i had to sit outside counting stars.

wishing you were here with me.

my hearts desire

2010-10-08T10:15:00.000-07:00

yeah, I'm crapping in the middle of the night. I admit, i have insomnia. ish. never knew life could be so mundane. Gahh, its okay, i'm content with the same cycle everyday anyways. Today would have been a truly boring day if freda and arief never came over. Then again probably not. I have year ends to study for anyways. I am completely unprepared !!! I think i'm gonna flunk my accounts and econs.

I just view a few blogs and i guess everyone has their own issues. Well at least i'm not the only one who blog about how life sucks in the middle of the night. My life, pfft... as messy as hell. ( i don't really know what hell looks like but its definitely not pleasant or anything that equates to happiness ). I can actually list down the 10 or 100 reasons why my life sucks at this point. My life don't suck that bad that i'd have to kill myself..yet. At least i still have a home, a family, and friends that loves me for who i am. Yeah i know i shouldn't be complaining so much.

But whats life without that one small thing what will soon,

in the future be a hell of a big deal,

yes i'm talking about 'him'.

Gosh, sometimes i really just hate facebook. Do you ever encounter a situation where you cant stop viewing his profile ??? Or it's just me ? I really hate it, when i got too full of myself by thinking he'd actually post a statement about me, but actually he's talking about some other girl. I practically loathe it. When i found out that he's actually in love with someone else my heart literately sank. It sank so deep that it just went missing. Yeah my hearts missing (in other words i'm lost in this little thing called love). Its like you never planed it, you never planed to fall for someone, you just fell. Its an involuntary action (form 4 chap 2 science)XD. Now my mind is like preoccupied with his images, bittersweet memories and flashbacks ?I know it sounds cliche, but Its the little memories(good ones) that keep you alive. Well i bet he's asleep now, while I'm wide awake. Insomnia ! There i said it again.

signing off now.

TTFN

xoxo mandy/bananaggurl/sakai/ebiko

2010-10-07T06:58:00.000-07:00

As lame as this sounds. But ilm blogging through my phone. hehehe whee.. sorry its been a while since i last bloged. i dont think anyone reads it now anyway. exams are around the corner and yet, here i am. lol my blog has been replace by my brand new velvet diary. lol yes i write diaries. In fact i'm a diary enthusiast. XD. hehehe signing off for now. ciao!

Cause honey you're not fading away

2010-09-07T11:28:00.000-07:00

Honey i am in love with you!!! It may mean absolutely nothing to you but to me your one hell of a big deal!!! I miss you i miss you! Why you had to move ??? Where i want to be is right beside you ! =(. Lets bury the past and start all over ! Remember those times ??? Were its just us against the world ? We were unstoppable !!! XD I don't expect you to for give me in anyway but i hope there's still traces of me left in your heart ! I hope you're not another disappointment, cause there's no room left in my heart for disappointment. This year is a total bummer! Especially last 2 month. I took quite some time to sober up. But owh well, when life gives you lemon's you make lemon juice XD. And guess what !!!! My nails are pink!!! As shocking as it sounds yess it is! haha! tomorrow i must shop till i drop!! must must must!

Its a girl thing!

i must get!

high waisted skirts
more tank tops
belts
rings

=( urghhhhhhh must must must !!!! =( my wardrobe is like the most dead-est thing on earth! Seriously !!!! Have you seen it yourself??? Just a glimpse of my wardrobe can make you look like you're the worlds greatest fashion designer ! XD soo yeahh! need need need! sobs sobs! I feel soo desolate lately!!! why you ask. My best answer ... 'DONT ASK'! -.-' Actually that's the stupidest question on earth ... " are you okay". When you already knew the answer to that -.-' lol ... i think i'll stop blogging for now! its already 3 am !Gosh how am i suppose to wake up tomorrow !! @.@ shoot now i'm scared. I have to wake up by 9am ... SHOOT! NVM !

LISTENING TO

DECOY
PLAYING GOD
MISERY BUSINESS
THAT'S WHAT YOU GET

ALL BY PARAMORE! GAHH I THINK I'M AN PARAMORE ENTHUSIAST

going to sleep now

TTFN!

XOXO mandy/banana/sakai

2010-09-07T11:27:00.001-07:00

I WANNA GO SHOPPING!

What am i suppose to do when the best part of me was always you

2010-09-07T10:23:00.000-07:00

Paramore i love you !!! love your songs! Really blows my mind away! Rock on!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG ! I LOVE YOU HAYLEY WILLIAMS! Your my idol!

how can i move on when i'm still in love with you

2010-09-07T05:08:00.000-07:00

What if i told you i never really got over you ??? What if i really love you ??? What if i could literately die for you? Just what if ???

hey y'll i'm back! Sorry i took ages to blog ! I got addicted to tumblr! hehe yes its highly addictive. Here is my tumblr! follow me if you want! http://bananagurlmanda.tumblr.com/.
Holidays just started and i'm feeling cooped up at home already! Worst part is i have no maid at this moment. So yeah ...HELL. -.-' I almost burn down the kitchen the other day. Yay me. -.-' last Friday i didn't went to terry tuition cause me and Freda had no food to eat and my dad came back late so yeah. You should have seen what happen to me and Freda when we encounter a HUGEE Cockroach!!! *SCREAMS* AHHHHHHHHHHH! HAHA! i am so scared to spray it cause it was so darn near the supplies of food and sauces. So me and freda dicided to cover it with a box or something ! haha then the drama kicks in! haha my god it was damn funny! Going to meet amelia, freda and the others tomorrow at 1u! WHEEEE! Girls outing ! So yeah.. sorry boys ! XP. Goshhh i'm sooo hungry!!! I haven't eat dinner and guess what time it is... yess 1:13. -.-' should i go and get a snack??? You know what i think i should XD.

GOSHH I MISS YOU SHOOO MUCH! I'M TALKING TO YOU... YES YOU!!!! YES... THE ONE'S READING MY BLOG RIGHT NOW! XP!

you make me dance like a fool,

forget how to breath,

shine like a gold,

buzz like a bee!

JUST THE WAY YOU ARE♥

2010-08-19T00:02:00.000-07:00

I just finished my piano class. Surprisingly today I'm not tired or feeling sloppy !?!? Weird !!! I normally feel that way. Owh well... YAY I recently found out that jia wei read's my blog regularly! AWW.... thank you jia wei! Hmmm.... I'm seriously addicted to Bruno mars songs! love just the way you are, LOVE talking to the moon! LOVE COUNT ON YOU ! GAHHHH! I'm crazy in love with this guitar skills, I'm crazy in love with his voice, GAHH, I'M CRAZY IN LOVE WITH HIM! My god he is so sexy! Even tho he might not look that outstanding XP. But who cares!?!?! For your information he's not Indian =.='. He's Hawaiian ..i think or American. All i know is he was born in Hawaii.

'beautiful girls all over the world, i could be chasing but my time would the wasting, but they've got nothing on you babeh!'

this photo he looks uber sexy!XD *DROOLS*

'If perfects whats your searching for then just stay the same'

I LOVE YOU BRUNO MARS! HUGEEE FAN !!!

okay enough about BRUNO! haha.... schools boring as usual... lol ... today i feel so hyper. No idea why!?!?!?! WTF is wrong with me !?!?! *jump jump jump* I NEED MORE SUGAR! i wan a cuppy cake D: ... Haven't finished accounts yet. Don't worry its still in progress... 10 more bloody documents ! Then sayonara project!

Urgh.... stop stealing other peoples man !!! BITCH! seriously. What the f**k is wrong with you! Sher... its okay. :) you still have us! hehehe....DONT WORRY. she's got nothing on you !!!

blah... i love what pearl and i did to my bottle !! AWESOMENESS! The pic will be in facebook soon! XD ...

now listening to BONAMANA, all the knows and misery business !!!! love love love! i love paramore tooo! gahhhh! She's so freaking awesome! She's my idol man !

Nothing to blog now !?!?! When somethings up then i'll return to blogging ! kk

TTFN!

xoxo mandy/banana/sakai

Accounts fever ! 45 degrees and above!

2010-08-16T10:06:00.000-07:00

hey I'm back for awhile, i need a break from my accounts madness. Been doing it since 7:30. Guess what time it is ??? Yes 1 am in the morning ! XD haha And you'd ask how can i still blog when i have so much to do in so little time well the answere to that is ' I DONT KNOW'. Maybe cause i kinda got bored of accounts. Sighhh... i'm sooo tired DX. Didn't went tuition just because of accounts. NVM... i've got to stop blabering about accounts or else i'll bore you to death too! i'm studying in a desolate enviroment. Everyone seems so sad. Their so sad until they've forgotten happiness and friendship. =(. sobs sobs... i was left out again in school. All i did was make book markers =.=' yes call me lame but damn it i think i make the best book markers you'll ever set your eye on ! figure of speechXD . well at least i got Arief and jia wei so stick around. =) Their the best friends you never have ! my best friens > yours ! Freda absence is also an addition to my 'sucky' morning. But honestly I'm already content with loneliness. After all, I'm always the one tolerating! No offence. It ha go on like this for 2 weeks now, and i'm still counting. Ignore me and my feelings. I always put my family and friends above me anyways. Grrr... I'm talking to jia wei at the moment =). Every body's too busy finishing up their project, just like me XD Back ache ! arghhh! ... *yawns* Gonna sleep as soon as i possibly can. =)... I love my accounts teacher tho. She's so loving and kind. Not no mention she has a incredibly high tolerance for us idiots ! XD That one say Jordan went to piss her off so she kicked him outside the class along with his belongings and table and chairs. That action is just to humiliate him in front of everybodyXD. She took a picture of him sitting outside the corridor, god knows what is she gonna do with it. But i'd say that was one awesome move teacher ! Good riddance for Jordan. XD haha He deserved it ! But at least he apologize to her right after her period endded. =) smooth move jor! Nvm enough with the accounts. Seriously man, i think i've got hit with the accounts fever! nvm I've got to sign off now. Back to me accounts project. TOODLES !

TTFN!

xoxo mandy/banana/sakai

ops!! my bad !

2010-08-15T02:39:00.000-07:00

she live's in a fairytale,
somewhere to far for us to find!

Sorry i haven't been able to blog much !!! ish ... never knew i'd be such a busy women XD. haha
my current bipolar if 'frustrated'. Yes I'm frustrated !?!?! Don't bother asking why! When life brings you lemons, you make lemon juice! =) Cause of pearl's inevitable reading skills, I've now officially become a fiction story book reader! XP. NOW ADDICTED TO THE 'HOUSE OF NIGHT' NOVELS. lOVE THE SERIES ! sorry the pic is missing 'burned'

marked
betrayed
chosen
untamed
hunted
tempted
burned

and now soon to be released "AWAKEN". !

I'm also reading Freda's real 'boring' book! XD. Okay, maybe I'm over reacting. Maybe its only boring in the beginning !?!? Well, that's a matter of opinion'. Accounts project is seriously killing me! URGH! Never have i encounter such difficulties !?!?! Oh.. by the way, i cut bangs a few days ago ! XD ... yes i look like 'hantu' if that's what you're gonna say and no i do not give a damn what the fuck you think of it =). Did i even ask for your opinion!?!? At least i'm not like some people who keep their hair the same f'ed up hair style like they always do !?!? The worst part is, the phrase 'self praising' is highly used in their life. =.=' lol. You know what screw the hair. lol ... Curious question !?!? Does anyone actually read my blog!?!? XD... idk. i know some does but seriously !?!?! lol ... teacher's these days are really starting to piss me off. =.=' i had to do 16+ essays in 4 days. =.=' you've got to be kidding. Nvm, don't think you wanna know how i come about it. My body is aching, i lifted weights yesterday and now I'm completely paralyze, calm down its just a figure of speech. But its very productive tho! =). when i feel my arm, i realise something is bigger than before. XD haha you know what i mean. Today was suppose to go to a 'birthday celebration competition'. But due to some 'issues', i wasn't able to go. Ish, by the way I'm grounded till exams are over. =.=' But well i deserved it. So not gonna argue about it. Never knew that 'he' such a casanova. Ish... Gonna sign off for now. =) ...i'll start bloging again soon.

TTFN!

XOXO mandy/banana/sakai!

what's left of me

2010-06-15T05:50:00.000-07:00

i don't wan the world to see me,
cause i don't think that they'll understand,
when every thing's made to be broken,
i just want you to know who i am.

yes, that 'J' on my hand is carved in... yes I'm insane. I'm becoming speechless and speechless by the day =.=' sorry I'm just very lost now. Trying to focus on one thing now. That is studies ! No more drama for me. No more lies , no more hate, no more sorrow. I'm gonna live like i used to lived. I must be optimistic when trying to overcome any form of situation. =). Seriously addicted to glee. LoL.... XD haha Fin is awesome !!!! And i love Jesse's voice when he sings 'hallo' with Rachael. *DROOLS*. I love Oliver goodwill. I think he's the sexiest man alive with his irresistible
accent XP. I saw him through the music video ' call me when you're sober' . I've got to say he looks awesome!!! He's acting as the big bad wolf. With his sinister yet sexy look i cant deny that he is one hunky bad ass! XD haha. Okay enough about Oliver. Any way's i seriously have nothing to express here now. Cause i am stuck at home for the week so yea. Bored to death much. =.=' By the way, pearl's gathering was canceled =(. I think her mom's really pissed. So yea.. that's also mainly the reason why i've nothing to type about today. Actually, my blog has been replaced by my diary. HAHAHA. I can't exactly express my feelings out, on the world wide web right!? haha. Yes... i write diaries, since when you say, since i was std 5. =.=' I've officially have 8 diaries. Only diary no.5 and no.7 aren't complete, but other than that every single book is filled with drama and memories. Mostly drama... but i love my diary. That's the one place i can release my tension. Not many listen to what i have to offer the world so due to my agony i write it down...wait scratch that... i scribble it down. XD Feel so empty =(. I seriously have no room left for any disappointment. =( i used to love my life, now I'm having second thoughts. Never mind. I'll stop with my complains. Got to go anyway. nights world =)

TTFN!

beatboxing dog

2010-06-14T06:40:00.000-07:00

hey hey i'm back !?!?! haha miss me ? lol...i cant wait for buddy! soo looking forward to it. Hopefully it wont be a disappointment. =) i always have alot of faith in buddy. Anyways, grrr... pearl cant go to buddy !!!! why you ask... because of her tuition. yeashhh just cleaned my room XD yeahh, finally right?!?!! lol. Now i'm addicted to raywilliamjohnson !!!! He is damn effing funny. love him! hmmmmm.....any new songs recomended !?!?! i'm bored with the old ones. lol XD. tomorrow i'm gonna watch 'karate kid' in the cinemas =). yippie! i'm gonna end it here. sorry i seriously have nothing to post these days. okay buh byesss =)

TTFN

finaly... a breath of fresh air !

2010-06-04T23:39:00.000-07:00

monkeify me will ya

EXAMS ARE EFFING OVER !

may not did so well this term, but next term, you better watch out! cause mark my words i'm gonna study real hard and produce a result beyond your imagination XD ...metaphorically speaking. At least must get 4 A's i guess ?

Exams are over woots!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't know how much we've suffer through out the whole 2 weeks ! Just a reminder that i didn't study for this terms exams so don't expect too much out of me. I didn't exactly get to blog much anymore cause I'm busy every day.*REPLACED MY MY DIARY* now in a few hours I'll be attending another party XD. But before the party, I'm going shopping with pearl. The 'bimbo'. I WANT A CARDIGAN! here are what i'm gonna add to my wants and whist list XD.

cardigan (black/grey)
black classic women's vest
high waisted skirt (black/white)
a top and belt to go along with it
leather leggings

yea... i know that's a lot of demands XD. Later I'm so gonna search for at least the cardigan and vest! its a must must must ! Recently, i just started back my piano lessons. I stop for a year and a half. So was unable to finish up to grade 8. Plus last time i was lazy to practice, i wasn't consistent, but now its a whole different scene. I'm gonna buck up with my sight reading and scales ! I'm more mature now i think XD. haha ....anyway. I celebrated Wesak day last week. Damn tired after that, but it was worth it=). Its was so darn fun trying to sell 'go green' bags. RM6 for each. We also helped promote 'buddy' camp ! I think there's at least 20 participant's in it=). Exclude the committee's larh. Pearl-lyn is joining...yipppppie, so is freda. =) not sure about xin yii larh. hope she can. Did i mention that Wesak day is the day Gautama Buddha passed away. Informally speaking its also Buddha's birthday. Yea... at 1st i didn't know. But after brother Srivijaya's talk, i'm more knowledgeable. XD. Thanks to tai san my best buddy, he invited me to sit beside him during the talk. After the talk, we have 'the walk'. We walked about 3 rounds with each person a candle lighted up. I think tai san was the only one with two. lol...Owh almost forgotten, we 'buddies' also performed 3 songs that night. We sang 'heal the world', 'beautiful friend' and 'Brahma of my heart'. =). Freda didn't get to attend cause she had tuition, and i didn't inform her properly. XD sorry my bad. Anyways I'm about to go bathe now cause pearl's coming to pick me up. so yeah ... I'll try to post more these two weeks =).

TTFN !

2010-05-14T08:00:00.000-07:00

Here are the drawings... hope you like it =)

AND THIS IS FOR MY DEAR FRIEND FREDA! SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR ME, ALTHOUGH SHE CAN BE A PAIN IN THE ASS BUT I STILL LOVE HER NO MATTER WHAT!

model: freda tan

camera women: amanda

editor: amanda

scars ♥

2010-05-14T06:42:00.000-07:00

did i say something stupid,
there goes one more mistake,
do i bore you with my problems,
is that why you turn away,
do you know how hard i tried to,
become what you want me to be,

sorrayyyy for the long hiatus, been very busy with a lot of things. Exams are coming and yet I'm still online and blogging. XD. Nothing much lately besides the fact that i cant stop thinking about exams! My brain is telling me that exams are coming and yet my body is disable to listen to that indirect order. In other words , I'm too lazy. XD I have no idea what to blog right now. I'll just use my recent uploaded pictures to describe the last few weeks absence. =) hmm... cheer was awesome !!!! we won yippie !!! We practices like mad... so i think, in my personal opinion we deserved it =). yes ...i'm doing split ...woahhh...no big deal=.= yala yala since when !?!?! HAHA... not being perasan! Sweet 16 was awesome, not too wild nor too silent. Its one memory i shall keep with me for as long as i know. Everyone pushed everyone in to the pool. Damn epic !!! Freda got tossed in to the pool WITH her jeans on. XD I got tons of presents and the best of all my old friend yi hong was able to attend. Well not in a very pleasant state. haha i mean he was wearing boxers and boxers only to swim. lol XD. Reminds me of e-way. He and his star pattern underwear.Yi hong is like my best buddy since std1. As i recall he always tease me and call me names. I used to tell stories about dragons and the link between heaven, earth and hell. Go on... call me lame if you want. But it was the most rich part of my life. Cheong ren yuan came, my buddy since std6, from badminton training. By the way our 'hari guru' drama was a failure ! epic fail!!! Never mind =.=' well... aren't like someone i brain storm to make the plot and almost everything. The thing i hate the most is ingratitude. =.=' whatever man! Why should i be so nice anyway since there's never any appreciation of any kind of me. Like chee wei said ' amanda, you contribute the most effort and yet you get the least recognition'. Thats what friends are for right !?!? hmm... nvm I'll just leave the past behind me. Been drawing lately, you can see the picture above in my next post =). yes its me ...=.=' and yes its Kenneth.

please don't start this sort of conversation... pleaseee i beg ya!

you: OMG ... you like him isit!?!?
me: no... i drew it for fun.
you: dont lie lar you ... then why dont you draw me for fun why him!

you wanna know the truth ... cause his face structure and lining of his cheek bones are easy ro draw. And plus i have a photo of him. Unless you give me a pic of you then maybe i might draw it. okay enough about drawings. =) That's all I'm gonna blog about for today. I might be starting a v-blog of my own cause i've pearl and Amelia kept asking me to make one. So yea i'll try. Don't blame me for anything cause this is my 1st time, if i'm making one that is. XD okay good night world!

TTFN !

sweet 16

2010-04-23T06:44:00.000-07:00

sweet 16th birthday was the most awesomest party ever!!! well its my 1st and my last. Well, not all came like crystal, jian li, jeremy and sean did not come. But i still have arief, freda, xin yii, jia wei !!! BRYAN THE A.D.H.D! yi hong , shir, car, lis, bennie, and sooooo many more !!!! We did cheer in the middle of the pool. Lol we were still happy with the results of 1st place in cheer. !!! Awesomeee!!! KESATRIA NO 1! 1st time in history of d.j ! seriously ! damn awesomee! took alot of pics but its all with mei chee. Hope she did not delete it XD. I'm kinda sleepy now, cause i was around d.j the whole damn day ! until 8:30 plus larh. sooo darn tired man ! Thanks azryyy for the best cheer experince ever! Best cheer captain ever ! Now i'm addicted to running away by midnight hours and broken by lifehouse. i'll blog more about my party and cheer tomorrow or somthing like that. I'm seriously tired now. Just wanna sleep. =.=' *yawns*

he's only gonna break break my break break my heart

2010-04-09T07:02:00.000-07:00

Schools been boring as usual, with the normal amount of homework and activities. But lately, I've been more busy with cheer. Cause 'raptai' is the up coming Monday and Tuesday. o.O Gosh, I'm darn tired now , and i haven't done a thing yet. Now I'm addicted to break your heart by tiao curz. ahhhh ... haha and soo darn addicted to black cat. Love him! haha. Recently just came back form MSSD badminton, sadly i lost in the quarter finals =(. Don't tease me when you didn't reach that level. =.='Seriously ! I don't take badminton lightly! And 'he' is do darn blur ! =.=' Ain't it obvious enough !?!? Please don't leave me hanging !!! Give me an answer please! Keep telling myself that, I'll never be good enough for you. Sigh... just let me know when to move on. Warning! 'He' ain't perfect ! Not the dude with the hot body or charming face, not the dude with the brains nor the dude that's excellent in sports or music. He's just a simple guy with a very simple life. =) My life, humph ... hectic and tiring. Okay i should be more optimistic, it could have been worst !?!? Tomorrow i have to go school again for the M.A.C and cheer practice. =.=' here we go again. yeashhh. Then tuition. =.=' the next day need to go buy our cheer outfit. Until god knows when. I don't know why i feel so sad ?!?! seriously ... i feel tired and agitated. Grrrr... ignore me. Sometimes i get carried away. Now pn.Cecilia officially hates me. NVM! I wont let a woman sabotage my life just because i was so called 'ill diciplin'.=.=' LMFO...! Nothing much to post today so I'll end my post for the time being.

TTFN

live like we're dying

2010-03-20T21:00:00.000-07:00

i try hard to make it,
i just wanna make you proud,
i'm never gonna be good enough for you,
cant pretend that i'm alright,
and you can't change me,
cause we lost it all,
nothing last forever,
i'm sorry i cant be perfect,
now its just too late,
and we cant go back,
i'm sorry i cant be perfect

I was just getting the hang of holidays, and i actually started reading again, and right were you are just about to enjoy the holidays... BAMM! School's starting tomorrow. grrr. worst part is we're gonna get our results. sighhhs... i seriously hope i pass history and moral. I have absolute confidence in my other subjects that i can pass. And MAYBE score? nvm. History and moral are a killer subjects man! Pn. Cecilia is gonna roast me alive man! =.=' ahhhh... *panicking*. Owh by the way i just came back form my trip to Melbourne. Yea, whoever that smsed me during my trip, sorry to say that you've just lost RM2 per sms. luckily i did not reply. fewwwwss... haha. I love the weather there. We were lucky cause we came on the right time. The weather ain't too hot nor too cold. YEAHHH! haha.. wanted to meet up sue and Erika but sadly we weren't in contact. so yea... sigh i contacted her through facebook like the morning before i went to the air port, so i wasn't able to ask for her add or phone number. Owh well, ' why do we fall, so that we can learn to pick ourselves back up'. =). now I'm currently addicted to 'the vampire diaries'. woahhhhh... the dudes in there are freaking hot! Even the girl actresses are hot too like Elena and bonnie ! Its way better then twilight. That's one thing for sure. Twilight is so timid and fake. I like the classic vampire characters, like vampires will turn to ashes when exposed to sun. Not sparkle like diamonds. =.=' vampires are suppose to be vicious but yet in twilight, James, Laurent and Victoria are so timid. Well not to say the 'the vampire diaries' is very gruesome or something like that, but its just nice for a girl like me. I have completely no fear for vampires or any classic monster. Only those erie ones like ' the GIRL with the long black hair and pale white dress' floating around. especially when it screams. Ahhh.. it kills me. =.=' I have made it clear in by blog here that this is no child's play. I will seriously beat the shit out of you if you ever try a trick on me. owh ... I mean it alright!

I'm celebrating my 16th birthday at sri damansara. Yea i know its far, but com'on, I really put effort to organise this party. At least have the courtesy to show up. I don't really need any presents. I would rather you come to my party and have fun, than buy me any thing, even if it cost RM 500 ! Its gonna be a pool party with caterers, therefore food is provided. And towel is provided too! Ain't that awesome. Com'on i spent like thousand plus for this. And yes this is my first time really having a party. Unless you count the std3 party. Where i only invite my neighbours and one friend. Does that count as a party? This one is different. I'm actually making invitations for this one. And actually calling up the club for booking. And spending loads of money on this. This will be the 1st and also the last party i would ever celebrate. Don't count last year, the surprise birthday party by cheong ren yuan and his friends ain't counted. I never asked for it. Although its kinda sweet of him to buy me an actual cake. Okay its very sweet. XD. But I'm grateful for that. That's why i attend his this year. =). Well... not what i had in mind but i did show some courtesy to actually show up, didn't i?!?! Okay I'm gonna end my post for today. Sorry I'm really lazy to blog about my trip to aus. I'll so that some other time. sorry.

TTFN

the girl with the broken smile♥

2010-02-26T07:35:00.000-08:00

I'm gonna make a post /poetry today. ;D

Relationships are like glass. its never meant to last, Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.

You open my eyes, to how a book can never be judged by its cover,

as i admire you from a distance,

before i know

feelings began to grow,

it grew stronger and stronger each day,

don't worry I'm on my way,

but the distance between me and you

is too huge for me to reach your heart,

and now i realise how love plays apart.

she'll never notice how you stop and stare,

when ever she walks by.

then jealousy takes its place,

but you left with out a trace,

i love the way your eyes light up when you smile,

somehow it always drives me wild,

moving on with such petty pace,

i just cant seem to forget that face,

realise that i might not be the one,

forgive me for all I've done,

i wont let you see,

the pain i felt in me,

I'd walk a thousand mile

cause anything for you is always worthwhile,

that's why I'm known as the girl with the broken smile. ;)

no copyrights, an original by Amanda teo.

TTFN...

coco chanel ♥

2010-02-21T07:38:00.000-08:00

picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor,
reaching for the phone, i cant fight it anymore,
i wonder if i ever cross your mind,
for me it happens all the time.

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now,
Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now,
And I don't know how I can do without you,
I just need you now

hey hey I'm back!!! Just watched a movie about 'coco Chanel'. Awesome man! i love how she got her inspiration from her life. You'd have to watch it to find out how amazing that show is. XD Anyways i just realise the temperature of the weather is soring and its seriously hot man! I seriously cant take it. I'm like wearing sleeveless tops from now on. Yeashh... Schools starting tomorrow, 'Now every body let me hear you say awww'. Yup time fly fast huh! wish i can seriously rewind the time. Sighhh, i'm kinda annoyed by someone right now. I fu**ing hate HER!!! She thinks she knows every thing, yea right! =.=' All she wants is to steal away your other half! Yes... she's good at that, she somehow produce some kind of negative Aura around her. Where whomever she mix with, if its a couple, they surely brake up.

Besides that, not only she's good at stealing but she a fantastic liar. Somehow I always feel threaten by her. Like every thing to her is a challenge. She like to make comparison and assumptions of her own. Yeash, if she ever done anything like that to me AGAIN. I'm seriously putting my foot down. I'm just showing her how decent human beings act, that's why I wouldn't wanna yell at her. But seriously though,at least show some decency, we're not living in the times of world war 2 where every solution is by fighting and competing. =.='

I only act this way when provoked and patronised. Honestly its my personal conviction that she should really have a taste of her own medicine. She don't know how much ache she caused me to lose someone like him. =.=' Plus he himself is disregardful, undignified and most of all disloyal person! Why would he even fall her her. I trusted them both with my life. And all i get is betrayal. =.=' grrrr... enough about THEM DIMWITS!!! More like ASS HOLES if you ask me. Sorry i tend to be a little rude. But its not my fault to be rude, cause she just ruin my day. And now she’s Trying to make a second attempt to steal him away. =.=' Fine so be it you think i care! I'm never talking to you. You have no idea what 'HE' means to me don't you? Yeah... i thought so... owh well so much for being my friend.

I gotta go to sleep now with such fury in my heart knowing that she still lingers in my mind. Adding to that my love life ain't going so well. I got mentally rejected my the guy i like for a year now. Well, he didn't actually rejected me, cause i never ask. But by his body movement and reaction, I presumed he is serious when he say 'HELL NO'. =( sad isn't it. But he is childish anyway, he'll never understands. And trust me,i mean it when i say CHILDISH. he is really child like. Moving on, has anyone in 4 meranti finished their accounts homework? I left 4 question. Now i understand what pn. sally mean by killing you softly! 24 SETS OF ACCOUNTS QUESTION TO TURN YOU ON MAN! I'll and my post with a broken heart and a disturbed mind tonight.

TTFN...

who need's valententines when you have them !

2010-02-18T09:10:00.000-08:00

Gosh .... i had so much fun yesterday with Freda and xin yii shopping! We're the 3 besties that will never be apart as long as I'm alive! XD. I just realise that even the littlest things like taking pics in the changing room can do so much to a person so blue like me XD. Well I'm not always blue but recently I'm down, due to some casualties. I'll spare you my complains. =) sometimes its the pictures that makes your day.

We were in FOS. Not much of a shop, but just enough for us to spend a whole load of time in the changing room. Haha. I seriously wanna buy some shorts I need them cause my old shorts cant be worn anymore. They have holes in them. I used them since I was primary I think. I don’t buy shorts, parents don’t allow, unless its only worn at home. =.=’ yeashh. They claim it’s to undignified to wear shorts out. But they allow if its only worn during sports or any form of exercise.

Anyways I am surprised I only spend about RM50 yesterday. I thought I’m gonna waste up to RM100 plus. But one thing I hate about yesterday was the stupid chicken pizza form ‘chocolate’. Its so darn expensive and the stupid thing don’t even taste good. And its as small as my palm. =.=’ then bottle of water cost RM2. Its literately as small as my palm. I’m so mad that I sped RM15 for those pieces of shit! But other than that, it was all good on my side =). How about you Freda? What do you think?

Let say when your in your thirties, you had a tough time with your family and your really annoying boss, just so happens that you browse through your folders and you saw those pics, i mean those EPIC pics, yea like this one here for instant

our 'hong kong feet' my legs are just too nice, therefore freda is admiring it. i cant stop laughing every time i see this pic

freda kneeing xin yii

we emo people, except for xin yii! haha. XD i forced her to act emo

you'd smile and tell your self how much you enjoyed it and miss it for your too old to have such kind of fun. Yesterday was one hell of a day maybe the best day of the year XD. But its to early to tell right? Maybe its just me, cause i've seriously been packed up with my hetic schedules like tuition and all. Adding to that badminton and other school activities. Barely have time to sit on a com and blabber all day long. sighs... Now i know how it feels being 16. speaking of 16, i will be celebrating my birthday this year. YAY ME! I absolutely know who I'm gonna invite ! I'll name out the top 5 that definitely and will be invited to my sweet 16th birthday! Without a doubt i am definitely inviting , 1st and foremost my dearest Freda, she's been my best friend since form one, 2nd in line Xin yii, my other best friend who's a little more quiet than we are, trust me before she met us she was and she is the shyest girl i've ever met. XD 3rd is of course arief, who'd forget him! XD,the 4th is of course the 'sesat queen' crystal! and the 5th is khai yee and Jeremy! Wanna know if your invited, don't worry the invitations will be sent out soon, after i try to book a place. =) I don't wanna bore you with my post any longer. So I'll end it with a smile and a TTFN.

for those who doesn't knows what TTFN means .T.T.F.N means 'tata for now'. Yes its from Winnie the pooh, and i'm proud of it!

If only today was a fairy tale.

2010-02-14T04:13:00.000-08:00

Its a dreamers dream to have you

I would like to wish you all a
happy Chinese new year,
happy valentines
and happy birthday for those birthday boys and girls, like lai yee XD

Just came back from johor, surprisingly I'm not tired. :D hehe... for once my nails are actually pink! haha yea that's sounds weird coming out from me. since uncle terry gave me a pink nail polish, so mind as well use it since its Chinese new year and valentines day anyway. Come on, still better than black right? haha...currently addicted to need you now by lady antebellum and daughters by john Mayer. For you information, john Mayer is sexy ;P. hehehe. So how's your valentines day+Chinese new year? Honestly mine is quite boring. =.='cause apparently i'm stuck at johor for the earlier half of the day and now I'm stuck at home, typing this ignorant crap. XD anyways, I've been a little worked out lately, because of a certain someone... yeashhh she's really getting on my nerves. But still i tolerate.HUMPH!!! Some times i feel like rinsing her neck !!!! i mean like you can criticise and insult others but others are not allowed. In class, we always joke around, but in her class she's literately THE JOKE! yeashhh... she has this bipolar disorder! And come on stop treating me like I'm a fool okay! I may be your friend and your allowed to joke around with me in anyway. Come on, even enemies and learn to show each other respect right! GRRR... forget it. I have tons of homework to finish!And i barely even started. ADD MATH, accounts =.='. yeashh... come on la teacher its Chinese new year for god sake! grrrr.... enough about my complains. And yes u complain a lot to be honest. But still I'm always the one tolerating. sighhh....

SO... who are you celebrating valentines day with ?

me? isn't it obvious? nah.. I'm not gonna tell! XD Its for me to know and for you to find out.XD

haha to the cute couple Jeremy and khai yee, i wish you all the best ! =) And i'm looking forward to the outing this Friday. Cant wait to watch 'valentines day' with you guys! especially when there's two of my idols in that movie! AHHH, both name starts with a letter 'T. YUP, you've guessed it, its TAYLOR LAUTNER AND TAYLOR SWIFT! Goshhhh, i absolutely love them ! *screams*. The sad thing is, 'HE' never ask me to be his valentines :( ya, its sad. very sad indeed. But like chi kit said, who needs valentines when you can get ang paos ! XD hahaha

OWH and chi kit, chill lar okay =). you seriously look better when you have that joy full smile on your face. You seriously look damn scary when your angry! i feel incredibly intimidated by you ! Freda agrees too! And yes i'm serious! I think i should end my post for now. until then you can go check out this cool video. Its the classic ' t-shirts wars!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKWdSCt4jGE . I find it kinda cute ! hope you enjoy it! I know i did :D

TTFN ...

XOXO Amanda.

missing it all!

2010-01-29T07:43:00.000-08:00

good bye my dear ravena ! we're really gonna miss you ! XD Make sure you remember me ! Or else I'll murder you in your sleep ! better yet in your dreams !

according to him

2010-01-29T05:45:00.000-08:00

Finlay i get to touch the god damn com! ugh... honestly i am damn tired right now. But i really just cant wait to use the com. Plus i cant use it when school starts, so mind as well use like mad 1st. :D AWWW... seems to me like every body's moving school ! God damn it! whyy! 1st elysia, then shin keat, then wing keong, then ming jie now muin and raveena is moving school too! Yeashh... why... i'll miss you all ! Miss wing keongs mischievousness and his singing ! XD haha..never mind then.

Tomorrow i have badminton training again... grrrr... so tiring lar. Then stright after that tuition. wft!? Anyways, i don't wanna blabber so much about my hectic schedules. Hmm, today is god damn tiring ! Went to school at 7 until 12:30 then went to atria after that walked back to school and so called 'studied' until 5:30 went straight to terry tee's add math tuition until 8:15 came back and ate dinner, and now i'm playing the com =) hehehe.

Goshh... yap tyron has god like hands that can play awesome songs! While i watched from the sideline, i tried to figure out the keys, hahaha. And i still owe rubens a Frisbee XD. i'm soo sorry ruben ! I really am, I'll buy one back for you okay =) i sware ! I'll try to go 1u tomorrow and see if i get to buy one.I'm not sure if our going green proposal is accepted. I hope it is ! The prize is 3000 dollars and 4 scholarship to Standford collage. YA, wow! haha. goshh i absolutely love tae yang and taylor lautner ! XD ahhh... *screams* currently addicted to life after you by Chris ! But of course i am totally in love with wedding dress lar ! Going to watch Sherlock Holmes tomorrow. And yes its an old show, and i'm not outdated its just that i dont get to watch so much movies these days =.=' gosh i'm tired ! i can barely keep my eyes open ! =.=' yawn ................

should i just forget it?

i must be fantasizing to much,

i'll never be with him,

i try to reach out,

but i hesitate cause i know it'll be just another down fall! sighh... if life's a little simpler, imagine how much happiness it would have been.

i love this song!

according to you by

Orianthi

according to you,

I'm stupid
I'm useless
I can't do anything right
According to you
I'm difficult
Hard to please
Forever changing my mind
I'm a mess in a dress
Can't show up on time
Even if it would save my life
According to you
According to you

But according to him
I'm beautiful, incredible
He can't get me out of his head
According to him
I'm funny,irresistible
Everything he ever wanted
Everything is opposite
I don't feel like stopping it
So baby tell me what I got to lose
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you

According to you
I'm boring
I'm moody
You can't take me any place
According to you
I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away
I'm the girl with the worst attention span
You're the boy who puts up with it
According to you
According to you

But according to him
I'm beautiful,incredible
He can't get me out of his head
According to him
I'm funny, irresistible
Everything he ever wanted
Everything is opposite
I don't feel like stopping it
So baby tell me what I got to lose
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you

I need to feel appreciated
like I'm not hated
Oh, no
Why can't you see me through his eyes?
It's too bad you're making me dizz-ay

According to me
you're stupid
you're useless
you can't do anything right

But according to him
I'm beautiful, incredible
He can't get me out of his head
According to him
I'm funny, irresistible
Everything he ever wanted
Everything is opposite
I don't feel like stopping it
Baby tell me what I got to lose
He's into me for everything I'm not
According to you [you, you]
According to you [you, you]

According to you
I'm stupid
I'm useless
I can't do anything right
i'm stupid, i'm useless i cant do anything right!

But according to him i'm beautiful, incredible,

he cant get me out of his head.

according to him i'm funny, irresistible,

everything he ever wanted.

He likes me for everything i'm not according to you!

I FINALLY STARTED my eclipse! hehe just started yesterday and planning on finishing it by Monday XD =) I dont exactly have much time to read books okay ! You think your schedule is tight, wait till you meet mine! Don't mind my typing and spelling error cause i am very tired to focus.

TTFN!

say what ?

2010-01-24T06:06:00.000-08:00

ahhhh school again !!! grrr... haven't finish my add math tuition homework ! ahhh grrr... still got 2 more question i dont know how to do ! forget it ...school homework =.=' whatever lar , who cares lar. Done accounts but haven't done my karangan. Damn lazy lar... hehe! Now i'm looking for a new piano teacher. grrrr, now i'm f**king piss. yeashh... dont ask why. Whats up with her man !?!? ahhh forget it. Anyways, i just bought a new bag ... wheeeee =) cost Rm70. Mom's gonna kill me XD. But, its about time i get a new sling bag. Tomorrow is another hetic cycle !=.='. yeashh... life's getting mundane. blahh, who cares larh. hmmm... tomorrow need to bring a story book right? i'm just gonna bring twilight. since i've already read it finish and its the thinnest book i have. And yes i don't read much. In fact i hate reading! hehe... yesterday came back from badminton training and look what I've got ! =D

sexy right! XD ... this is what i call awesome! anyways i am real lazy to blog right now cause there's nothing much to talk about these days =.=' besides school, love crap and studies =.='Boring lar ... haven't even have time to read finish my stupid eclipse book. Yes, i haven't. i've been kinda sad lately. Don't wanna complain about it, i'd rather keep it to myself but, sighh...i think i'm gonna blow if i keep up with this. I recently just got mentally rejected=X... pshhh....i'll just have to deal with it i guess =.='Some pain cant be describe by words right ? So just forget what i just said okay =) I'm so totally in love with TAE YANG!!! *screams* !!! ahhhh.... he's soo hot and he has a memorising voice, that goes along very well with his outstanding dancing moves ! Adding to that he can play piano too! Ahh, he has this gangster look but it suits him, not like some people who tries to act gangster but ended up real pathetic. Seriously ! ahh, don't touch him, he's mine. he's now my property ! tae yang tm! a i think i am gonna sign off now. Scared i cant wake up tomorrow. XD normally i can't so better go to sleep now. Got to pack my bag now, byes !

ipod nano 5th generation ! its mine!

TTFN!

love bites, XOXO

2010-01-15T06:02:00.000-08:00

Gosh I'm beginning to like my class 4 meranti !!! hehe, the people there are damn funny !!! for example like wing keong and e-way and Jordan. The 3 musketeers !!! XD HAHA i'm sitting beside pearl-lyn and khai yee!!! They're damn fun to be with man !!! pearl-lyn the 'BIMBO, AND K-POP FREAK'! And khai yee 'the girl you can never keep secrets from'. Me and pearl-lyn just cant stop babbling ! haha We talk and gossip like there's no end ! haha i laughed like hell reading wing keong's composition book about the urban area. LMAFO!!! lol... Jordan was surprisingly quiet today !?!?! what's up with him man !?!?kena sprayed by douche bag Justin yup!! grrr... i had to go to tuition wet =.='. blahh dont care about him larh.

My gosh, I've fallen for TWO freaking animals =.='

Cant tell you the details my apologies ... as long as their both are mammals.

Unless your close to me, you wouldn't get what the heck i'm saying !

hehe. I met jean Philippe today. goshh he's so hot but who wants him man... that pervert ! XD the worst thing is he's only form 1 ~ and he called me fat =.=' grrr.. !nvm don't bother anymore...Studies ? Okay larh, i survived the 1st two weeks, not sure how long i can keep up with the crap i'm learning. Add math, masih boleh tahan, econs er... not too bad, accounts ... die !!! wtf is audit and all the other confusing crap i'm learning ! Brain storm like hell and still dont get it ! Gosh i need help !!! S.O.S MAN ! DAMN IT LARH SCREW ACCOUNTS ! Currently watching 90210 baybehh!!! love Ty Collins, he's so hot but he's such a player man =.='. Lucas owes me a ring !!! grrr... he made mine got confiscated.hehe... 'you bloody immature dung ass'!!! You damn blur weih...i pitty them man !

sighh... sorry to go off topic ...but 'HE' if you know who then shuddup! seriously appears everywhere man ! i see him literately everyday accept for maybe sat and Sunday ! But other than that i see him 24-7! goshh how do you expect me to get over him ! yeashhh....i am like thinking of him 24-7 and its drop dead hard to get over him ! But were you serious about it or I'm just too soft hearted! why am i fussing about 'him' ! he's too good to be true larh. I must be dreaming too hard, and now its time to wake up. I just realise that i'm now seriously alone... it took me one year to realise that i'm alone with all the freedom i want. Having all the freedom, but no one to share it with is plain lonely. At times i feel so alone, as others enjoys their sheer bliss with their soul mates while i watch them from the sideline. (dont get me wrong)

*sighs*... i should stop it with me and my ignorant love-sickness... =.='Gosh, after so many times i'm still so naive =.='. i'm tired now after a long day in school from 7 to 5:30 then went straight to tuition and came back at 8:15. goshh then tomorrow i have badminton training then straight after that i have bm tuition =.=' grrr.... ahh. Me and my hectic schedules are driving me crazy!!! Now i feel the pressure ! And i'm so darn sick of it !

TTFN,

signing off now,

really lazy to redo my blog.

2010-01-09T03:59:00.000-08:00

i'm really lazy to redo my blog so i'm just gonna leave it empty for a while XD. So bear with it. thank you !

anyone ready for school!!! I know i'm not !

2010-01-03T04:43:00.000-08:00

my hair grew! yippee! still waiting for it to grow longer ! goshhh, i don't wanna go back to school! i'm having so much fun now! The big problem is , if i didn't get in sub science the I.C.T package, my dad wants me to move school. =( its either beconhouse sri inai or taman sea or who knows what!?!?! =.=' Now trying to apply to get in sub !!! sighs... now i have to sleep early and wake up early again. Lazy lar... i'm so getting use to sleeping late nowadays. sighs...lucky for nick, no school, don't have exams, need not waking up early =.='.
parents are now asking me to stop using the com and prepare for tomorrow. But what do i need to prepare!?!?! I don't even know the time tables yet!!! And i don't even know what class am i going. And they're gonna dismantle the com unless its a weekend or holidays! its like study, study , study !!! non stop! Next year is no child's play !!! its all work and no fooling around....But.... my attitude still remains the same okay. I'm soo not clipping my hair or pulling up my socks !!! rings are the love so I'm still gonna wear it ! XD hehe, got a new bag, pencil box and a new future ahead of me! So excited to meet crys, free, xinz and amy tomorrow !!! ahhh, panicking now !!!! I seriously wanna know what class am i going to! haha hehe, now i'm bored. ahh, anything I'm just gonna be in my facebook looking around ! =)
that's all for today's post. Good night and hope tomorrow's gonna be a good day !!!

TTFN !

happy new year !!! good bye 2009 and hello 2010!

2010-01-01T06:28:00.000-08:00

is anyone using their blog these days?

haha new year count down celebration in BUBS was a blast!!! it was damn fun !!! Some how you've got the feeling like you've drank alot! Its as if we were drunk ! We helped decorate the center at 12, well ...except for me larh, cause you know me...the late bird the decoration looks like an after party look. Any ways, today i just went out with crys and xinz, goshh am i tired !! we bought the same tops, haha, i bought black, brown, white and grey, xin yii bought black and grey, crys bought brown and maroon ... haha =) going to crystals 365 church even tomorrow, really excited to meet nick and bryan ch'ng !!! hehe... met them throught the net long time ago, well long enough for me that is ! But never actually saw them in person. owh well. really tired and busy these few days. so i'll blog later! just to let you know, when school starts i am not alowed to use the com unless it's a holiday or weekends !

I did fine =)

2009-12-26T07:48:00.000-08:00

Don't bloody hell ask me about my pmr results already okay! I didn't did that well to get in pure science but i think i manage to get in sub, i hope!? Come on, give me a break, i got h1n1 DURING PMR =.=' having a few A's is good enough for a h1n1 victim. I vomited during geo and i had high fever during science 2... but lucky me, i still got an A for science.=) Those who already know then do me a favor ' Stop telling every one'! Thank you =) Congrats to all who got 6 A's and above =) Goshh, i am scared of form 4 man ! No objectives ... talking about it gives me the chills already. 1st bad thing, you'd have to study sejarah! 2nd bad thing, every thing inside the sejarah book is crap! Trust me ... then 3rd bad thing, you have to write an essay about the crap that's published.=.=' grrrr ....WHY CANT WE HAVE SEJARAH IN ENGLISH? And we cant even protest. yeashhh... but seriously form 4 ain't child's play, I'm gonna study my but off, like I've never study before!!! But my old habits will still remain the same ;D. I'm still too stubborn to listen to discipline rules. Hair ;D remain the same, socks ;D remain the same too, attitude ;D remain the same too, like i give a fucking damn to those hypocrite and morons that think they are holy great=.='. i'll make it real clear to those ass holes out there, its either I'm your friend or enemy. I can be a great friend, and i also can be your worst nightmare! Yes i do have an annoying sense of humor and yes i tend to annoy people sometimes. Well, that's me =) You can change who you really are deep inside, but you can change a persons bad habits of course. Whether they wanna change that is XD. That's all for today, now I'm kinda busy watching ray William Johnson's clips and man that dude can really make people laugh !

TTFN!

2009-12-17T06:49:00.000-08:00

I remember the way he look at me and I know I was safe when he’d smile and say don’t worry,I still remember the time when he’d look me in the eye and tell me that he loves me and I knew every things alright, as long as he’s right hear by my side, cause every time we touch , I get this feeling and every time we kiss I swear I could fly, he was like a dream, a fairy tale that’s has no sad endings. But when I open my eyes, he stills remain a dream, he’s never there, it was another childish figment of my imagination. As I waited for my prince charming to return, I knew it was pointless but I never gave up until the day I realize he’s heart is stolen by another. I knew it wasn’t a fairy tale that It’d be too good to be true. I was a wild dreamer until he came and wake me up in other words let me down. Now its just too late for him and his white horse to catch me now. I wont let nobody see me wishing he was mine as I fall deep into the shadows of my past. No matter how much i want him, but i cant let my urges take over.

i'd lie

2009-12-16T10:12:00.000-08:00

reminds me or him !!! i really do miss you!

I don't think that passenger seat
Has ever looked this good to me
He tells me about his night
And I count the colours in his eyes

He'll never fall in love he swears
As he runs his fingers through his hair
I'm laughing 'cause I hope he's wrong
And I don't think it ever crossed his mind
He tells a joke I fake a smile
That I know all his favourite songs and

I could tell you his favourite colours green
He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth
His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes
And if you ask me if I love him, I'd lie

He looks around the room
Innocently overlooks the truth
Shouldn't a light go on?
Doesn't he know I've had him memorised for so long?

He sees everything black and white
Never let nobody see him cry
I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine

I could tell you his favourite colours green
He loves to argue, born on the seventeenth
His sister's beautiful, he has his father's eyes
And if you ask me if I love him, I'd lie

He stands there then walks away
My God, if I could only say
I'm holding every breathe for you

He'd never tell you but he can play guitar
I think he can see through everything but my heart
First thought when I wake up is, "My god, he's beautiful"
So I put on my make up and pray for a miracle

Yes, I could tell you his favourite colours green
He loves to argue oh and it kills me
His sisters beautiful he has his father's eyes
And if you asked me if I love him
If you ask me if I love him, I'd lie

♥

2009-12-16T09:07:00.000-08:00

for him I'd swim across the Atlantic ocean,
I'd fly across the world,
I'd go the distance and endure what no other has never endure before,
all i want is to be by your side,
breathe the air you breathe,
walk the path you take,
i want to be able to smile back at you when you do something stupid,
capture every moment together,
wipe your every tear, and be there to comfort you,
cause i have faith in you,
but if you ask me if I love him .......I'D LIE !

Party like there's no end, penang trip day 1

2009-12-13T09:30:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the long hiatus!!! Just got bored of typing sometimes. XP Anyway, I had recently came back from penang. Gosh! It was a wonderful trip! At least that was the breakthrough of my boring mundane cycle, ' eat, shit, and sleep' cycle, literately! I invited Freda to come along. :D on the behalf of Freda, she had loads of fun too! Well its her 1st time going to penang anyway. For me its like my thousand time!? It’s my mom’s hometown. You may think you’ve seen all the pics in my facebook. But don’t be fooled, there’s still many more I didn’t posted. On our 1st day we didn’t do much cause we used up all of out time travelling and all that. =.=’ took a lot of photos in the car when we were bored. (facebook). We went on a ferry ride and took a lot of pics too but sigh…real lazy to upload again. Sorry. And then once we’ve reach out hotel which is ‘flamingo hotel’, I know …what a name right ?!?! lol the hotel was awesome! But unfortunately, me, freda and brian had to sleep in one room with only 2 beds? Huh…meaning one of us had to share. What do you think …Of course it was me!!! But the good thing was we only had to endure it for one day. We reached the hotel at 6:30 plus … It was a tiring day!!! Dinner was delicious!

Freda and me were observing people eating. And we saw a guy and I suspect his little brother, eating like he has never eating in weeks …LOL … two mouths and the whole damn ‘pao’ is consumed! Watching him eat was like watching tv. Owh look entertainment and delicious food. XD, did I mentioned that penang guys are way hotter than guys In KL. XP seriously. After our luscious dinner, we went back to the hotel and played pool and arcade games =P. We played like there was no end, plus Freda and Brian played like a hardcore gamer!!!! Haha… that’s all for day one!

the "so called arcade"...=.=' damn life lifeless and retro

live to eat or eat to live ?

2009-11-27T05:51:00.000-08:00

Gosh I’ve gained weight!!! Is it because i never exercise for a long time that I’ve become lazier by the day? If that’s the case, then I’ll go back to intense badminton training. But I can't possibly go all the way back to my old house, its just way to far. Anyone mind recommending me one, or else I’ll just go down to kayu ara then?! Women hate gaining weight , even 1kg then they'll go on a diet. I just realise that what they meant by diet is "hunger strike"! LOL, is that really necessary? I can't even live one day without lunch and dinner, while they can?! To me the best way to lose some weight is to exercise, it not only keeps you healthy but also help you lose some fats. Hehe, gaining weight doesn’t mean your gaining fats. Gaining weight is simply gaining more nourishment. Its been said that muscles weigh more then fats right? My friend she’s at least 5 feet 5 and she weigh up to 40 kg ain’t that scary, gosh…she’s even lighter than me. I weigh about 46 to 49 …And yes I’m heavy. Don’t have to tease me okay I understand clearly I need to work out again … Really hope tomorrow turns out great! Owh and I keep having nightmares about my PMR results …I’m exceedingly worried.

My aim is simple I only want A’s for my science, math and English that’s all. And to pass my history that would certainly be great! I’m worried about my geo and KHB too…BM I wish for B that’s good enough for me. Sigh…thinking about my results is making me worried, all I know is I got 34 out of 40 for math , yes nothing compared to yours =.=…and 35 for English and last but not least 34 for science… yes my science result is very disappointing. Now even my body figure is failing me. I vowed to go for a jog tomorrow if not I shall not touch the computer!

Not just any jog, but an intense one make sure I reduce some fats from my fragile body! IT’S A MUST DO THING!

2009-11-27T02:30:00.001-08:00

new layout and background !!! what do you think ...please leave a comment ! thank you !

Refresh our memories

2009-11-22T06:46:00.000-08:00

Have you seen the latest upgrade for our blog posting ??? its awesome !!! lol moving on ...went back puay chai last saturday ...damn it was drop dead fun!!! Met up with Lucas and his friend. Can’t remember his name sorry, what can i say...I’m a forgetful person. I made Lucas hug the lion dance, LMAO! haha i caught him on tape too! But unfortunately he made me swore I wont post it anywhere. Sobs... it would have been and ass kicking clip!

Gosh… I hate my hair …=.=’ But we didn’t go there straight at once, we went to 1u first. Met jian li and Mathew there, then they bring us to the arcade and then we met Jeremy, kok ian and the others. Sadly I did not met the birthday boy before we left. Terrible planing =.=’ supposedly 30 people are attending Norman’s, siao won and Muin’s birthday. And I only saw like 8?

Ughh… don’t bother, not my birthday anyway. My legs hurt like hell walking in 2 and half-inch heels for 8 hours straight! AHH… lucky Freda did not follow me attempt such silly stuff. Well, at least I got to met my old friend Chun kit and wei yue! Yeahh! How long has it been…3 years? I’m glad I came back to my old school …=) I would like to go back just one more time with Freda. Really wanna let her experience how if feels like when you’ve got nothing to worry about except for danger of course…XP whomever it is, your reading this, let me tell you something, if you haven’t live the life I lived meaning you’ve never live before! Well… Its not much, and it doesn’t cost unless you got yourself injured, then you can’t help it.

Owh and mom and dad decided to go to Melbourne on next years march holidays =) yeah!!! And yes I’ve been to Australia before, but there’s no harm going again right ? And they decided that during the June holidays, we’ll go to England !!! HELL YEAH! Yay…I get to meet my auntie Ann and uncle chin poh!! Wheeee… how long since I seen them …hmm no idea! My gosh… … I can’t wait! I’m so excited already! I’m done with today’s post, will be posting soon byes !

TTFN

same boring post, different day

2009-11-21T09:35:00.000-08:00

sorry for the long hiatus ....been busy lately, with all the planing and all that. sigh ...Going on a filled trip soon, guess where ... penang !!! That's right PENANG ! Heard that theres a lot of food there. Not only that, they are delicious too !!! Planing on bringing Freda there to join the fun. I would give anything to watch the sunset on the beach, where the mild waves touch your toes. lovely indeed !!! hmm...Cant wait for new moon ...can you? DAMN IT !!! I have to wait till i come back from penang, then only i get to watch new moon ! Hmm..anyone wanna come ?Real tired now, its 3:30 am in the morning and all i can think about is penang, and the stuff we're gonna do there ..=.=' ugh...and I cant stop thinking about my PMR results ...and what class I'm gonna go in. Nervous break down here!? Sigh ....I'm extremely worried about what class I'm in next year, cause ...er....erm... i have a feeling that i might end up in the last class..=.=' Not that i failed or anything, in fact my results are more
on the 60 to 70 plus plus ...Wanna know why ...cause i did not submit my class form. The form is suppose to let you choose whatever package of studies you want then they'll evaluate according to your results ... But ya know the irresponsible, couldn't care less and forgetful me ..hehe. Sigh, now i want to submit the form but i can't cause schools out ...So I've decided that on the same day we're gonna get our PMR results I'll submit it and BEG the teacher to please kindly accept it !!! DAMN...i'm terrible ! What to do, I am me...you can't change who I am ...only I can ..weather i want to do it or not its my choice.. So don't come telling me what to do or what i should do. Nah ...i was
only joking ...as long as its a friendly offer i don't mind even if it cost a little sacrifice...=) Thats what friends are for right ? Okay, i'll update the past tomorrow, for now you shall endure my boring post for a while ...

TTFN!

laugh as long as you live, love as much as you breathe♥

2009-11-03T17:21:00.000-08:00

To love or be loved?

hmm, love... Strong word. But no one knows when to use it. They say love is a very strong emotional and sexual feeling for someone. Some say love is a river that drowns the tender reed, others may say love, it is like a razor that leaves your soul to bleed. But deep under all this is there something more, or it is just another figment of our imagination? Hmm, all this commotions is driving me crazy...its like an extremely confusing roller coaster ride. The phrase 'I love you' its just too commonly used, does it really mean anything anymore??? Usually they say that ' I love you' only takes 3 second to say it, 3 hours to explain it, and a lifetime to prove it !!!

Well.. if you really need a life time to prove it then how can you say that your BF loves you for who you are and will never leave you or you can just tell me that these quotes mean nothing. Hmm... weird huh.. Began to understand, how can we make conclusions at this age, that we've found our true love, I doubt that they will have a happy ending.'ohh.. look my BF just bought me a beautiful ring as our anniversary'. Are you sure he bought it through sweat and tears just to make you smile or parents gave him the money to buy fake happiness for you?

' ohh we've bee SO long (2 years) together, I know he loves me and I know it'll last forever'. Forever is a long time, maybe too long until one day he got bored and finally fall for someone else. Or maybe not ...for all you know maybe you've been holding him back all these years.

They say communication plays an important part in a relationship, so does that mean that IF you do not communicate then your 'love' in the relationship fades away ?

What love are you talking about now, is it the love of helping others ? Or is it the love that you kept private between you and your lover ? Confusing huh... well at least i am but still, I'm young and maybe too inqusitive, I still have a long journey through life to face. like my blog title, life is so beautiful but yet its full of complications. Time is slowly running out, each and every second you'll grow oldder and bigger. So I'll just
live my life to the fullest and make every day counts.

Goodbye my trusted friend, promise me this isn't the end♥

2009-11-02T05:51:00.000-08:00

I wish you all the best and may your dreams and wishes all come true.

Emotions ran through my head
I found myself wishing I was dead
All because you were moving away
I knew I would never see you another day

You were my classmate, and my best friend,
are you sure we have reached the end?
You made me happy, I became carefree
You made it feel okay for me to be me

It's been several years until today
but it feels like it was only yesterday
I remember everything we used to do
It may seem impossible, but it is true,

all i want to say is 'thank you'

Bad news, my dearest friend sue ling is leaving the country, as in migrating. I was like what !!!! Aww, such a sad news, although we're not that close anymore but still shes my good friend so I'm gonna post this as a farewell post to my dear friend sue. We used to be best friend.. but things got out of hand. We both go to our respective paths and our friendship faded away. But as i recall, we were one hell of a group along side with li hui and kar wei. Sue, you were the possessive one back then, who always wants people to stick with you. Don't worry i totally understand how you feel. Speaking of stick with you, you used to love this song by the pussycat dolls. And every time you asked me to sing it to you. What a memory. They say that love and friendship is just a triumph of our imagination, but to me is a learning journey that we have to face every single day of our lives. They say that friends comes and go, but to me you're the type of friend that will stay in my heart forever, even if we're far apart. Well hope you enjoy it there, and hope you make lots of new friends and i bid you farewell. Owh,, and hope you get to see Erika Chen ;D

Spice up my life with a little music ♥

2009-11-01T05:10:00.000-08:00

Another boring day ...Wake up late in the morning and got scolded by my parents and then took a bath. Went 1u to eat in sushi zanmai as usual then went back home with a full stomach.

Called up Freda and see if she can come to my dads condo to take a look at his private mini theater. End up she cant come, so called crystal instead, talked too long on the phone until dad scoled me. Finally crystal said yes. Went to her house to pick her up and then head off to K.L. Then it started to rain, urgh.. not just a minor rain but major. So the road was flooded...=.='yeashh... Arrived and watch our movie, then fetch crys back to her house then went home.

Really bored now, watching Rosario vampire as my replacement for vampire knights.

well...I'd have to say its kinda vulgar, so... i do not recommend anyone to watch it unless you're mature enough. Freda introduced me this show...well it seem okay to me but some parts of the show is kind off disturbing to see. She said it was a love story and its a supernatural type of series. I didn't hesitate when she told me it was a 'vampire fell in love with a human' type of story line. Thought it would be something like vampire knight. Ironic as it sounds, its completely different from vampire knights...=.='

Many are going to school ...hmm i don't think so..seems to me that every single day, lesser and lesser students are attending school. Heard that many are gonna attend the D.Js got talent ..hmm

Seriously.. i think Sandra should join. I mean like i've heard her sing through you tube and she sound great. Love her bitter heart and her kantoi ;D ...Now I'm currently addicted to Ashley's songs from her latest album ' guilty pleasure'. I really love the song called ' me without you' and ' erase and rewind'. I can see that every ones addicted to facebook...even me! The only thing i hate is that when someone tagged you in a huge photo and you couldn't be bothered by the comments. Every time i get a notification that someone commented on my photo, which was actually the someone that tagged mes photo ...annoying much...=.=' anyways I'm gonna sign off for now ..

TTFN!

vblog ???

2009-10-31T11:48:00.000-07:00

hmm ....don't bother me I'm just real bored ... just watched kevjumba's videos, gosh their funny! Wanted to start my very own Vblog but suddenly i change my mind cause i mean like I'm not really that funny so not many people's gonna view my videos anyway ...=.=' but still there's no harm trying ...maybe i'll try some other time when I'm really bored or something. Just changed my layout, yea yea... it looks lala and i know what your gonna say " holy shit,amanda, you like pink !?" As a matter of fact 'NO! I DONT'. I use this layout cause it suits all song from techno to slow songs to pop rock. To my point of view, this layout suits a whole loads of song. Well .. you'd be wondering why do i need my songs to fit my background. I wouldn't want to use a scull on fire background and suddenly add a sweet song like "the show" by Lenka ... Sounds weird, looks weird ....soo weird ....=.=' moving on ...just curious ...is it really true that most Asians have very small eyes until people make comments like " hey chink, open you eyes dude !" =.='??? Okay yea my eyes are small but I'm definitely opening my eyes ....Every time i play the game called 'killer', the 1st thing they'll say ; Amanda open your eyes and don't smile, that would just make things worst ..=.=' ? yeashhh. Is my eyes really that small .... fine it is.. well then thats the end of my post ..buh byes

TTFN !

freaky friday

2009-10-31T07:13:00.000-07:00

Anna Coleman (ME )is a common teenager who constantly rebels against her stodgy mother Tess (FREDA TAN) and annoying younger brother Harry (BRIAN TEO).Sources of irritation include a rock band Anna's in, which her mother dislikes, and Tess's upcoming wedding to a man named Ryan (JIA WEI) Also contributing to Anna's irritation is her enemy, Stacey Hinkhouse (KHAI YII maybe) the "insane psycho freak" who never seems to stop torturing her, and Anna's English teacher, Mr. Bates( JIAN LI ), who gives her an F on every assignment, no matter how hard she tries. Her love interest is Jake (DUNNO WHO) .

When the family, along with Ryan and Anna's grandfather (MUIN maybe) eat out in a Chinese restaurant, Anna and Tess quickly start into a fight again: Anna wishes to participate with the rest of her band in a band audition, however the show is the same night as Tess's wedding rehearsal. Hearing the argument, an elderly Chinese woman (CRYSTAL) offers Anna and Tess both fortune cookies. Upon opening them, there is a short earthquake, which only the pair feel. The next day, Tess wakes up and discovers that she is in Anna's body. Likewise, Anna is in her mother's body. Confused, they decide to go back to the restaurant at lunch to find out what happened.

Since Anna has an important test and Tess must go to work (as a psychologist, some of the patients are dependent on her), the two are forced into each other roles. At school, Tess is given a bad grade from Mr. Bates and realises that he had asked her when they were younger to the school prom, which she refused and now he was taking it out on Anna. Tess confronts Mr. Bates in front of both of Anna's friends, humiliating him.at work, Anna counsels the patients with some difficulty and then gives her mother's body a makeover, including new clothes, a new haircut, and an ear piercing. At lunch, the two go to the restaurant and talk to Pei-Pei (XIN YII) , the daughter of the woman that gave them the fortune cookies. Furious at her mother's meddling but unable to directly help them, Anna attends Harry's parent-teacher conference, where she learns that he secretly admires his sister greatly, but provoked fights so that she'd pay attention to him.

When Tess took Anna's test, Stacey made it look like Tess was cheating. Tess is able to finish the test later with the help of Jake, an older student that Anna had a crush on (she also gets revenge on Stacey by erasing all of Stacey's answers and replacing them with "I'm Stupid!").Meanwhile, Ryan surprises "Tess" with an interview on a talk show to discuss her new psychology book. Anna is unable to discuss the meaning of the book, which she hasn't read, so she improvises by turning the show into a wild romp. Afterwards, Anna sees Jake at a coffee shop and bonds with him over similar musical interests. Jake then begins to fall for "Tess", when he notices all the characteristics he likes about Anna .

At the wedding rehearsal that evening, Anna's band mates come to try to convince "Anna" to go to the audition. Ryan gives her permission and tells "Tess" that he wanted Anna to accept him into the family on her own. Seeing Ryan in a new light, Anna leaves to watch her band perform. At the audition, Tess is unable to play the guitar so Anna unplugs it and plays another guitar backstage. For the first time, Tess realises how exciting it is to be on stage and why Anna loves the rock band. Back at the wedding, Tess asks Anna to have Ryan postpone the wedding, so that Anna won't have to go through marrying him in her mother's body. Instead, Anna proposes a toast where she accepts Ryan. There is a second earthquake that everyone feels (probably because they were all in the same room with Anna and Tess at the time) and Anna and Tess switch back into their own bodies.At the wedding the next day, Anna's band performs and Anna gets a chance to dance with and kiss Jake. Pei-Pei's mother notices Harry and his grandfather fighting and offers them fortune cookies...which Pei-Pei manages, via tackle, to retrieve before they are opened.

Movie making !

2009-10-31T06:11:00.000-07:00

Fifteen:

the beginning of the end

staring Freda tan , lit xin yii and jia wei

we are using this story book as the main theme, unless you read the book then you'll know .

I cant exactly tell you the whole thing, cause that would spoil the whole thing. =) so yea I'll just give you a sneak peek on it. The story line is about a murder scene. The show is mainly about teenagers making wrong choices in life and the 5 precepts they broke which is, where coupling at this age is always the beginning of the end. dad always says that...=.='

no killing
no intoxicant
no lying
no sexual harassment
no stealing

Well... the story goes like this, after their big exams which you obviously know is PMR, the students form 3 penaga planned to have a trip to port Dickson where they stayed for 3 days 2 nights in xin yiis fathers cabin inside the woods. Many attended, that include couples which is Freda and her boyfriend (maybe Matthew) and Jeremy and khai yee. Well... in the story Matthew dumped Freda and every thing started form there. A ranger found Freda wondering around the woods under the rain, nearby the boys dorm. She was in pain after the broke up. Xin yii staring as one of Freda's best friend, she tries to help Freda calm down, therefore she went upstairs to get her a towel. Suddenly Matthew was murdered that night. No one knows who's the killer. Every one panicked and called the cops. Then the investigation occurs. Many days the CSI have no sign that any of the student was the killer. Many suspected it was the ranger that appeared out of no where. That's all i can tell you, you'd have to watch the show to see the ending and find out who's the killer.

well that's the end of this post ,

I'll be giving the details to the cast and crew later ,

hope the movie turned out well,

and hope to all viewers enjoy it .

owh and happy Halloween .

TTFN !

lights, camera , action !!!

2009-10-31T05:35:00.000-07:00

sorry for the long hiatus, been busy anyways, since after pmr , i had loads of fun. We went shopping and all that, plus we also made a music video using walking on sunshine by Ally and Aj... it was great i tell ya. Moving on, not long ago i just went shopping with my gals which was Freda and xin yii, bought damn many stuffs and got scolded by my parents for wasting money, but i think its worth it don't cha think so ??? okay these are the list of items i bought.

t-shirt from cheetah RM19
long sleeve shirt form hen ten RM 48
bare backed black dress from ??? RM 80 discount 50%
shades RM25
2 nail polish RM15
handbag form converse RM59

TOTAL: RM 206 =.='

okay i have to admit its quite alot of money there ...but Fredia and xin yii sponsored some Cash =) thanks guys, or I'll be dead ... well i still need new slippers and high heals and a school bag ...hmm great I'm gonna waste a lot again ... yeashh never mind, I'll brain storm my self. Hmmm, owh yea gonna make another movie making project again. As i recall the last time we create the movie , it turned out to be a total desasiter...=.=' NO THANKS TO WHO??? shh... i better keep my mouth shut before i get murdered by N***AN. hehe... But still we tried our best, anyways its our 1st time and we don't have much experience and equipment so therefore it didn't turn out as what we wanted. But our music video turned out pretty well i think, many said it was lame but creative. That i agree, its not that we're lifeless or anything, its just that most of the girls don't really have humor now a days , so... i thought of the theme girls gone wild ! I'm satisfied with the results so I have no criticism. Planing to create another short movie, maybe around 1 hour plus, the good thing about this movie is we create the story line ourselves. Its a thriller movie where someone murdered someone for the sake of love. And we're also planing to shoot the freaky Friday movie staring Lindsay lohan and Jamie lee Curtis. With Freda as Tess Coleman and me as Anna Coleman. The details will be post soon. Anyone is entitled to join this group. Contact me in my msn Angel_halo94@hotmail.com for any enquires.

happy deepavali people !

2009-10-17T09:28:00.000-07:00

happy deeavali guys !!! Anyways, I've got good news and bad news ... good news is , my tuition teacher just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and i got to go to a superb deeavali open house and man the food there was nice and i met many people. Gosh ... the size of the house is as big as our school man .... its huge !!! Anyway the bad news is, i didn't get to join jian li and the gang for the sunway lagoon outing ...=.=' . Never mind , but i got to go somewhere, that's good enough for me =). Man, you should see the size of the house its huge i tell ya, huge !!!! I took a lot of pic and met new friends, Ashley and Dennis and v-j ?? i think ... not sure how to spell ... sorry. Well here are the photos .

really lazy to upload evey thing now ... check out my facebook ...all the pic's will be posted there=)

2009-10-15T23:29:00.001-07:00

goshh i just found this kinda cool ... haha, while i was surfing the net suddenly this like caught my eye and wow its vampire knight ... ahhh huge fan here haha.

http://kyuuketsukiknight.piczo.com/?g=36074330&cr=3

2009-10-15T03:20:00.000-07:00

pictures ;)

i edited nicks photo still learning ...

Obsess with you

2009-10-14T22:06:00.000-07:00

There's more than meets the eye

hmm, i've recently watched some movies which is 'g-force', 'the ugly truth' and 'the proposal', well i didn't get to watch a lot of movies before PMR. Dad's paranoid with the H1N1 spreading around. Well ...i've gotta say that 'the ugly truth' is kind off funny, but the language usage is kinda vulgar and inappropriate for the younger generation. Still, its a great movie. Hmm 'g-force' , honestly i don't find it that interesting, cause its all about the guinea pigs and nothing else, like human's completely useless, of course its not a complete disappointment but i much prefer movies that make sense =) ... but the guinea pigs are kinda cute as well .As for the movie 'The proposal' is more than what i expected, it nice... well its my cup of tea alright! =) Woah ...i am not completely addicted to vampire knight !!! WOHHO !!! I love zero kiryu ... haha to me the anime series is great even though there's no English dubbed.

The story line is about an ordinary girl named yukki cross living her life as a prefect at cross academy where she was adopted by the headmaster named kain cross who was actually the greatest vampire hunter ever known he decided to create an academy where vampires live among side with humans. She has a step brother named zero kiryu whos family was murdered by a pure-blood vampire named hio shizuka. Zero is also a prefect of the school and he intends to kill all the vampires there because of his vengeance and hatred for them.Zero is manifesting vampire traits after he was bitten my hio shizuka four years ago. The only early memory that yuki has was when she was attacked by a vicious vampire and saved by another, named kaname kuran. Ever since that day yuki fell in love with him. Yuki tries to help zero to control his thirst for blood while she seeks for the long lost memories. By giving him her blood could help him avoid loosing him self to the level E stage. But unfortunately the only way to prevent him form turning in to one he has to drink a pure-bloods blood. Therefore kaname kuran decided to donate his blood to zero for the sake of yuki. If not zero will go insane for her blood.Eventually zero fell in love with yuki. In the end, zero discover that yuki herself was a pure-blood vampire that was sealed in her by her own mother shortly before she died because of the attack by rido kuran, yukis uncle. Besides that yuki is also the fiance and sister ot kaname, her memory was sealed by her mother because she wants her to live a normal life as a human therefore her mother cast a magic spell on her. After yuki awakens as a pure-blood vampire by kaname, rido kuran tries to kill her. In the story the created cannot harm the creator so therefore kaname can't kill rido because rido was the one who brought him to life, even if kaname is very strong and powerful. Yuki fights rido with all her might, zero aids her by killing him in the end. Zero says he'll have to kill her one day, yuki agreed and she'll be waiting. The series ends here and i'll have to wait and see if there's a season 3. The comic has the season 3 petition but not sure if they'll publish it in the series

pure-blood vampires are extremely rare, its as if they are royalty or something like that

level E is the lowest level there is in the vampire stage where the vampires lose their minds to the monster inside them and will never hesitate to kill for thirst of another. This will normally happen when a pure-blood vampire bites a human.

Boredom strikes again !!!

2009-10-14T04:46:00.000-07:00

Party in the u.s.a !!! woots... PMR IS SO OVER!!!!
addicted to the song ...

When exams are near,

they cause a great fear,

because things aren't clear,

and some subjects aren't dear,

Chapters and chapters we learned,

And many knowledge we’ve earned,

For some luck comes by,

for some it doesn’t,

but for the cool and calm guy,

you know, it's always gonna be high!

edited by :amanda teo

*screams* .... I'm dying here... its so darn boring even though PMR has ended. I'm stuck in my ~~house~~, wait... scratch that, I'm stuck I'm my room. Its so darn boring man .... not that PMR's over what should i do ... hmm maybe i'll go get an ipod...yea..thats right an ipod. Since i always enjoy listening to songs. seriously wanna go back to school to meet my friends, and play all day=P haha... what should we play, any suggestions ?

I know, anyone wanna join me to the park or 1u. I'm gonna force freda to my badminton training when i feel better, she' s gotta lose some weight, not that she's fat or anything ...XP ... hehehe

i seriously wanna get at least 3 A's for PMR, even though i was sick during the test. Okay moving on ... crap i am soo addicted to vampire knight even though i've finished it .... =.=' my gosh i love zero and hell yeah i am a huge fan and i'm proud of it. Can't wait for the up coming events man ....

HOW THE HELL CAN YOU WAIT FOR ANY OF THE UP COMING EVENTS ...the last time i went to this buddy camp its was damn fun ... seems like the greatest camp ever, but there's still 2 more camps for me to tackle, then i can make conclusions among the 3 which is the best =). But honestly i think all of it would be great, i have high hopes on all of them. =) Please do join us in our BUDDY camp and the 365 youth camp. Any enquiries, just go to the buddy blog http://b-u-d-d-y.blogspot.com/ for the buddy camp or you can just contact our chairperson jiar hwei or you can just drop and e-mail to buddygroup@ymail.com .And for the 365 youth camp just check out the blog at http://www.365youthcamp09.blogspot.com/ for any enquiries. Hope to meet you all =)

for buddy:
Age group: 15 - 19 years old (those above 19 are also very much welcomed)
Fee: RM 75 per participant
Date: 17 Dec, 2009 (9-10AM) - 20 Dec, 2009 (2.30PM)

Venue: Uttama Bodhi Vihara - Jalan BU 6/5, Bandar Utama, PJ

To register, you can download the registration form's .pdf file BUDDY Camp 2009 "Loving Self, Loving Others" - Registration Form or drop by our booth at Bandar Utama Buddhist Society (BUBS) every Sunday.

here's the form for the youth camp.

i'm back !!!

2009-10-12T19:53:00.000-07:00

Now its over , its over , why is it over !!!

Woots PMR is so over !!!! HELL YEAH!!! FREEDOM has arrive, but unfortunately i am sick, well..i don't feel sick anymore but still i have to avoid contact. In case you haven't heard i am an h1n1 victim, well mealy, cause the doctor only suspected its h1n1, i took an influenza test, at the same time you can also test for h1n1, h2n2, and h3n3. So the only thing that is causing my illness is h1n1. So yea. Sorry for the long hiatus though... =) well i just wanna say thanks to those that cheered me up that day, wait i think i can still remember, thanks Mel Wong and the gang, p.y, Naomi, Emily and many others that i don't remember. But most of all i wanna say thanks to my dearest friend Freda and Amelia. They cried when they found out that i have H1N1. They are a life saviour...Crystal, jian li , jia wei, xin yii, shirley,mei yan and her gang, norman and arief too. Amazingly nick ng and Lucas found out about the tragedy and wished me all the best. thanks guys. And a thousand thanks to my beloved mom and dad for every thing=) Well... this is a tragedy alright but what to do when you hit by the most unfortunate luck 'getting sick on PMR' not just the normal illness but H1N1... HOW UNFORTUNATE but i wont cry over spilt milk, so yea, whats done is done, besides, i think i did pretty well in my exams, well... good enough for me that is, but still was hoping a little more. Any ways, nothing much happened before the exams besides me getting sick and all that, maybe there is one thing ,me and my family went to melaka the last holidays. Okay going off now, since I'm actually not allowed to use the com cause its out of my room. Seriously, you can literately die in boredom in my room , there's nothing there accept stacks of books and paper and much more crap. Well ... at least i found out that , i got 35 out of 40 for maths 1 according to Jordan's answerer, he said the got all the answerer so i gave him my paper to check and i received a message form cheong ren yuan for the answers for BM, BI SN and GEO. I don't have my geo paper right not, therefore i wasn't able to check how much i got ...hope i get at least B ... BM i got 25 out of 40 yea yea ...it sucks eng i got 35 out of 40 and science i got 33 out of 40 ... Damn angry at my science results ... i thought i could get like maybe 37 or 38 .... yeashhh....But nvm whats done is done....sigh... when i was sick many smsed me so i kinda wrote this poem to give thanks to those who cared. well here it is hope you enjoy reading it, although i may not be all that but its certainly not that bad..

when you got bored in the exams, this is what i do ...i drew this during English paper 1

freda....wuuu hardworking-nya, study group on monday ...

she didn't notice when i took this... hehehe

studyyyy geo!!! And it helped me alot in exams =)

exams got me so tied up ,

now i am seriously messed up ,

my body has be attacked by H1N1,

I seriously hope i dont harm anyone,

lucky for ne theres a cure,

the way you care like no other,

its just too pure,

without your love i might die,

as long as you're around i shall fly,

you kept me motivated and kept me going on,

even at the break of dawn,

this effort shall always pass on,

because of your concern and how much you care,

even if its painful, i will learn to bear,

the little things like love, happiness and friendship,

is somthing worth dying for,

to make it beautiful to live in.

by: amand teo

2009-09-14T03:45:00.000-07:00

3 more weeks!!!

P.M.R

keep holding on

2009-09-02T01:03:00.000-07:00

i just wanna let you know that i wont be updating my blog for a while, at least after PMR that is. And i now have no motivation to study therefore my results were like shit. That results is not even worth wiping your ass!!! yeashhh, i only got ** for my maths... yeashhhh sorry to humiliating ...please DON'T RUB IT ON MY FACE! I've had enough lectures. Dont worry i didn't get anything lower that 50 dont worry. just that i didn't get A .... yeashhhh.... okay

TTFN!!!